» Conned

During my school years...
...some of my friends hit on the idea of crashing weddings (this was pre-film). They regaled me with their tales of the week before, and so I dutifully showed up at the local posh hotel the following week in appropriate shirt and tie.

The ease in which we successfully managed to integrate ourselves into the proceedings was staggering. We literally walked straight into the hotel, and into the reception/disco which was in full swing, and started to amble around and pick at food.

All was going well, until we started to notice a few people looking at us a bit funny, so we gathered ourselves, and moved towards the lift to head back to a bar, satisfied with our complimentary vol-au-vents and sausage rolls. To our horror, as the lift doors began to close, an arm shot into them and stopped the lift and a bloke got in, and demanded to know where we were going.

My friend is quite fast on his feet, and blurted out "We're friends with x, and he invited us as he didn't know many people. We were supposed to meet him here but he didn't show and now we feel out of place so we're going to the pub". Much to our amazement the bloke simply laughed, and stuck out his hand. "No worries lads, my names Tony and I’m the best man. Feel free to stay, and if anyone asks you who you are, say your my mates".

So we re-entered the hall and began chatting to other guests, and having a few drinks. The best part was towards the end when we all started dancing at the front, and a small crowd moved around us and watched. At the end of the song, the bride came up to us and congratulated us on the dancing, and casually said she didn't know who we were.

"Oh! We're Tony's friends!" came the answer, to which she replied "Oh I'm sorry! I thought you were just randoms!".

Brilliant.

I happen to know my mates on that night sometimes frequent these boards, so A) Sorry if I stole your story before you, and B) Cheers for a great night!
(Thu 18th Oct 2007, 14:36, More)

» Bastard Colleagues

Agency work...
...is always strange. I was once posted to a small government department in Leeds to work as a "office support manager". This basically entailed sitting at a desk remotely near the door and being given work to do - hence the support part I guess.

The problem was, I wasn't given any work. Now i'm as lazy as the next man, but being paid to do NOTHING, becomes tiresome after a while. Coupled with that, the majority of the staff seemed to be the most inept group of people you could find. I worked with 3 other people, all 50+ women who didn't really seem to understand how to use a computer. One of them (my immediate "manager") would set me a task and expect it to take about 2 hours to do. Upon announcing that I had completed it after about 10 minutes she would look like she had just had a coronary and try and forget that I was there.

Her manager had the BIGGEST arse i've ever seen. She looked like Daisy from Keeping Up Appearances and muttered on about "quangos" and "funding targets" most of the day. The others weren't as bad, apart from the woman who sat opposite me who did nothing but cackle and take time off most days to go to church.

Other tasks detailed to me included:

- Ordering £2500 worth of crockery for the office for use during meetings, from John Lewis. My protestations of "Why don't we get it from Ikea to save money" were met with more budget mutterings.

- Packing up some laptops and PC equipment to be sent down south via Parcleforce. My offer of doing it for £90 instead of the £280 Parcelforce wanted fell on deaf ears

- Write a guide on how to use the textphone they had just purchased. That didn't work.

Yet they saw fit to pay me £12 an hour! Woo!
(Sun 27th Jan 2008, 23:16, More)

» Personal Ads

Gah!
meetme.hotornot.com/r/?emid=OUNYAMK

MY EYES! ARGH!
(Mon 17th Sep 2007, 16:31, More)

» Personal Ads

Hoorah
HoN is clearly flawed. There are attractive people on there in the group yet they are marked down. Crock of shit.

I make no apologies for being top 'o the board though.
(Sun 16th Sep 2007, 14:16, More)