b3ta.com user MizEmma
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Spent a long time lurking before registering, and probably would never have done so had a friend not asked their mate Dr Dunno to give me 'the b3tan equivalent of a big shout out'. The result was a fluffy duck, which FPd (yay for Dr D - and me, his muse *preen*), and it seemed only polite to emerge from lurkage to express appreciation and thanks etc, though I would like to say for the record, I would NEVER be seen on the street without shoes on..........mmmmmm, shoes.....

Added to that, I have a job that I like and that actually requires me to put some effort in at work so I really only dip in and out and post the odd woo or yay.

Who knows, maybe some time in the next decade I might manage to create something I would consider posting. But don't hold your breath, folks.

So there you have it - not very interesting, but well done for reading all the way to the end.

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Best answers to questions:

» Worst Record Ever

Has anyone mentioned
Candle in the Wind yet?
Especially the version done for Diana's funeral. What was already a excess of wallowing on a national scale was cranked up to weepy saccarine overload by such trite lyrics as

Goodbye England's Rose
May you ever grow in our hearts.
You were the grace that placed itself
Where lives were torn apart.
You called out to our country,
And you whispered to those in pain.
Now you belong to heaven,
And the stars spell out your name.

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind:
Never fading with the sunset
When the rain set in.
And your footsteps will always fall here,
Along England's greenest hills;
Your candle's burned out long before
Your legend ever will.

Loveliness we've lost;
These empty days without your smile.
This torch we'll always carry
For our nation's golden child.
And even though we try,
The truth brings us to tears;
All our words cannot express
The joy you brought us through the years.

Goodbye England's Rose,
From a country lost without your soul,
Who'll miss the wings of your compassion
More than you'll ever know.

What utter twaddle. Sorry, I'm going to have to go off and throw up now.
Edit/ I must confess my friends and I found the whole affair rather entertaining; we even wrote a hollywood a-list cast list for the Charles/Diana/Dodi biopic, and for my birthday in September that year a friend gave me a fab Diana t-shirt with a really cheap decal of her on the front - one of those ones that cracks the first time you wear it and then slowly flakes off over the years before the last remnants turn sticky and glue the whole t-shirt together - with roses around the picture and flowing script saying 'Diana, born a princess, died a saint'. I love it but I'm never allowed to wear it in public in case either someone thinks I'm being serious, or even worse realises I'm not and has a go at me for not respecting the memory of our beloved Princess of Hearts :D
(Thu 4th Dec 2003, 10:59, More)

» Worst Record Ever

There are so many to choose from -
anything Michael Jackson has done since Thriller (and wasn't that keen on that either), and lets face it anything by Celine Dion, Maria Carey (though I'll forgive her the Busta Rhymes duet Baby if you give it to me), Bryan Adams, Simply Red, Craig David, the whole raft of misogynistic rappers inc Nelly, Snoop Dogg, R Kelly (misogynistic ballads for fucks sake), and so many more that have you reaching for the radio off button and the sick bag.
I will save an extra portion of vitriol for anything by Whitney Houston but especially 'I Will Always Love You'. It was a pretty awful song even when the fab Dolly Parton did it (yup, I do like a bit of Dolly, though not the God Bothery songs) but for heaven's sake, Whitney has managed to turn this syrupy song into an indigestible, shouty, maudlin, mawkish cacophony that was impossible to get away from for months - in what was it - 1993? It still gets played these days - don't people ever learn?
Oh, and Whitney, anyone who refers to themselves as a 'gracious diva' deserves a slap.
Edit/ I was also going to add Grandma and Ernie the fastest milkfloat in the West but I guess that can come under the banner heading of 'Novelty songs' so that covers Bohemian Rhapsody and anything by Gareth Gates too.
(Wed 3rd Dec 2003, 17:10, More)

» Worst Record Ever

Thanks to mond and JustHere for the inspiration
Bright Eyes by Art Garfunkel.
For heavens sake, a song about rabbits? Yet again maudlin and mawkish and yet sticks in the head with all the tenacity of a leech or tapeworm (pick whichever one you find more revolting).
(Wed 3rd Dec 2003, 21:25, More)