b3ta.com user skagg
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Profile for skagg:
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Recent front page messages:

dont fuck wit' da jesus!

(Wed 12th Jun 2002, 19:04, More)

you should see
the beast i bought after visiting the showroom today

shes parked in the garage now
(Wed 5th Jun 2002, 15:30, More)

you always see
these buggers racing down the highstreet in town blasting out the BOOMBOOMBOOM of their uk garage on their big stereos

(Wed 5th Jun 2002, 11:51, More)

my trusty seed

im a real sucker for a bad pun
(Thu 28th Feb 2002, 15:34, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Fancy Dress

Thankyou Woolworths
Around Halloween I found in Woolworths one of those stick on wounds which drew my attention primarily due to it looking like the nasty 'gash' could have been an 'axe-wound'.

I proceeded to make a constume for a 'Bad Superhero' themed night based entirely around that childrens halloween prop and the wondefully heroic name "MingeFace"

It was a good night
(Fri 13th Jan 2006, 16:44, More)

» I just don't get it

Drinking game
not so much something ive run with for years but still a smile politely and nod situation

being the president of a university sports team one of my jobs over summer was to secure sponsorship. me and my drinking buddy/housemate were visiting a part for a meeting on such sponsorship. now were a welsh university (aberystwyth) so obviously the standard 'drunk at the bar' was a welsh drunk at the bar. an old fella who was always there and always more pissed than any of the students you see passed out in the gutters. we had to wait for the guy we were meeting so while looking around aimlessly we caught his eye and politely said hi. he nodded back at us and raised his drink

then he turned to face us........ fuck!

he then proceeded to have a conversation with my mate an i entirely in welsh with neither of us speaking a word of welsh. we picked up on the bits where he leaned forwadr expecting a response and boucned back with "yeaah hah ahhah huh huh"
the only things we really picked up were where he was quoting what we gathered must have been from a time he was at the bar. he would point of into the distance and shout "jock drink, paddy drink, taffy drink" etc then continue on with explaining his story to us fully in welsh with the occasional laughter which we mirrored
we in the end decided he was telling us about a drinking game he came up with and since then have occasionally brought it out of the back pocket to play

its great because only me and my mate know the rules we made up so everyone loses apart from us

(Thu 31st Mar 2005, 18:30, More)

» Messing with the Dark Side

not so spooky
but confusing as hell

friday night was staying at my girlfriends parents house. about 2 am the computer in the guest bedroom booted up and then a little bit after shut down again

shitted me right up but she was worse after having watched some horror film the other night

anybody experienced this with computers before and care to explain it to me?

oh also my phone lit up all of a sudden at the same time as all this which added that extra touch of 'oooh'
(Mon 24th Apr 2006, 13:15, More)

» Sacked

happy worker
I was once dismissed from a bakery i used to work for because, in my boss's words "i don't think youre really enjoying it"

of course at the time i was very surprised that the job description of a guy who's job it was to scrub the back bakery of a shop included 'being happy'

later i came to the conclusion that he had worked out i was nicking all the cakes instead of preparing orders for dsipatch and just didnt have the balls to tell me
(Thu 23rd Feb 2006, 17:17, More)

» My Worst Vomit

New Years party
the party was hosted by a brother and sister duo who were then combined friends of me and my then girlfriend

id decided to drink wine that night so adequately polished off the bnottle id brought feeling fine. no problems there

then mulled wine was offered from a pan and the only drinking recepticles were small little egg cup type things. obvious connection to me at the time was shots of mulled wine

so i challenge a friend to a shot-drinking competition and the comp gets under way. several shots pass and i start to notice he isnt get drunk so, determined to get him slightly tipsy i demand we drink more, and more, and more (it wasnt til a few days later that it was revealed by everyone around that he wasnt actually drinking his but pretending to, to the joy of everyone around who was in the know, and to my expense)

anyways sevel pans worth it seems are consumed so i need to be sick so off i head to the loos, girlfriend in tow.

much puking is done and girlfriend decides i need a glass of water so fetches one. in my attempts to muster the control of my limbs wioth which to grab the glass i knock it over, thus breaking it on the tiled floor. i then somehow managed to put girlfriends wrists in it which get slashed to shreds and bleed profusely.

then finally with one last allmighty heave i eject the remains of my stomach down the loo and shit myself before passing out.

last 2 things i remeber are vaguely hearing the band play some hapopy new year song for 12:00 and being taken home by my father who escorted me through the crowd of friends, shitty boxers on show.
(Fri 20th Aug 2004, 10:38, More)
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