Profile for cheesepump:
none
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
- a member for 20 years, 11 months and 17 days
- has posted 63 messages on the main board
- (of which 1 have appeared on the front page)
- has posted 0 messages on the talk board
- has posted 0 messages on the links board
- has posted 4 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
- They liked 3 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 2 qotw answers.
- Ignore this user
- Add this user as a friend
- send me a message
none
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
» Mini Cabs From Hell
sheffield cab
Booked a cab because I had to go to the local tax office for a meeting with Mr I.L. Revenue. I was dressed up in my bestest suit, to look reliable and organised.
The driver turned up on time, and started chatting away.
As we turned out of my road, there was a traffic warden giving a parking ticket to an illegally parked car.
"I hate them fuckers. I ended up in court because of them." he said.
"Why?" I asked "Where had you parked?"
"No, I kicked the shit out of one"
"What had he done to you"
"It was a she..."
I started to feel uneasy now - thought I'd best be polite, if he's the sort of fellow who kicks shit out of parking wardens.
Then he picked up his mobile, and decided he had to ring home (this was before this was banned, not that it would have bothered this bloke). He didn't know how to work the speed dial, so had to dial the number manually, while driving, and while going through a red light.
Eventually he got through and someone picked up:
"Hello, who are you? What are you doing in my house?"
He proceeded to argue with them for several minutes about what they were doing in his house - he claimed it should be empty (so fuck knows why he was ringing it in the first place) and wanted to know my this person was answering his phone - refusing to accept he had dialled the wrong number.
He spent the rest of the journey on the phone, dialling his wife's mobile, to ask what their home phone number was.
We pulled up at the destination, I thanked god I was still in one piece, he looked at the mileometer (no meters in these cabs)
"That'll be £4 then mate" he said.
I started fumbling in my pockets for change.
"Do you work in there?" he said, pointing at the tax office.
"No, just visiting" I said, worried he hated tax inspectors as much as he hated traffic wardens.
"Right, it'll be £5 then"
I didn't argue - I was happy to escape. Needless to say I haven't used that company again...
(Fri 28th May 2004, 14:20, More)
sheffield cab
Booked a cab because I had to go to the local tax office for a meeting with Mr I.L. Revenue. I was dressed up in my bestest suit, to look reliable and organised.
The driver turned up on time, and started chatting away.
As we turned out of my road, there was a traffic warden giving a parking ticket to an illegally parked car.
"I hate them fuckers. I ended up in court because of them." he said.
"Why?" I asked "Where had you parked?"
"No, I kicked the shit out of one"
"What had he done to you"
"It was a she..."
I started to feel uneasy now - thought I'd best be polite, if he's the sort of fellow who kicks shit out of parking wardens.
Then he picked up his mobile, and decided he had to ring home (this was before this was banned, not that it would have bothered this bloke). He didn't know how to work the speed dial, so had to dial the number manually, while driving, and while going through a red light.
Eventually he got through and someone picked up:
"Hello, who are you? What are you doing in my house?"
He proceeded to argue with them for several minutes about what they were doing in his house - he claimed it should be empty (so fuck knows why he was ringing it in the first place) and wanted to know my this person was answering his phone - refusing to accept he had dialled the wrong number.
He spent the rest of the journey on the phone, dialling his wife's mobile, to ask what their home phone number was.
We pulled up at the destination, I thanked god I was still in one piece, he looked at the mileometer (no meters in these cabs)
"That'll be £4 then mate" he said.
I started fumbling in my pockets for change.
"Do you work in there?" he said, pointing at the tax office.
"No, just visiting" I said, worried he hated tax inspectors as much as he hated traffic wardens.
"Right, it'll be £5 then"
I didn't argue - I was happy to escape. Needless to say I haven't used that company again...
(Fri 28th May 2004, 14:20, More)
» Shit Stories
ouch
A friend works in a hospital - they had a patient in intensive care, who has been constipated for nearly 6 weeks. He was so backed up, he was thorwing up liquid shit. They had tried everything - laxatives, manual evacuation (nurse sticking finger up arse and poking around to try and loosen it) - in the end, they had to operate to remove the turd.
(Thu 6th May 2004, 10:03, More)
ouch
A friend works in a hospital - they had a patient in intensive care, who has been constipated for nearly 6 weeks. He was so backed up, he was thorwing up liquid shit. They had tried everything - laxatives, manual evacuation (nurse sticking finger up arse and poking around to try and loosen it) - in the end, they had to operate to remove the turd.
(Thu 6th May 2004, 10:03, More)
» Obscure Memorabilia
I've got
... a script from 'Call My Bluff'.
It is the version given to the panel e.g. it doesn't have the words or meanings in. Only Bob Holness' script had those in.
(Fri 5th Nov 2004, 15:01, More)
I've got
... a script from 'Call My Bluff'.
It is the version given to the panel e.g. it doesn't have the words or meanings in. Only Bob Holness' script had those in.
(Fri 5th Nov 2004, 15:01, More)