b3ta.com user doktored
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Been a long time since I have been a regular.


Recent front page messages:

i see dead people

i think it needs a narrative
(Sat 20th Apr 2002, 21:40, More)

and that made me think
of this

(Sat 20th Apr 2002, 20:19, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Inflated Self-Importance

An Official
Now i wouldn't call the lady that runs the cafe in the Ethiopian Airport at Dire Dawa an official. But she had a uniform.

"Can i have some chips"
"Can't have chips, not on the menu"
"Whats that?" I point to some lady eating chips
"Egg sandwich"
"I'll have an Egg Sandwich please"
"It is not on the menu either"
"But i can make it"
"Yes please, two Egg Sandwiches, they come with chips?"

But to be honest this is nothing. In Ethiopia it is still 2005, as they have 13 months and time starts at 6am... So 7am is 1am. If you are in a village night time doesn't have a time. It is just 'Nightime'
(Fri 25th Jan 2013, 16:58, More)

» I Drank Meths (pointless teenage things you did to shock)

Helping the homeless
For some reason when about 16 me and my friend Ed got talking to a homeless fella. For some reason ubebknownest to us we both ended up pretending to be beggars with him. I had to hide my new shoes under the blanket - Ed had a new haircut so he was on watch.

The beggar was a foul mouthed sh!t that would talk to women like they were... Erm the homeless.

I blagged 3 menthol fags and about £12 that I gave to our would be fagan.

Decided that this was all too much I went home.

However Ed joined him and his mates on some sordid drug run and alledgly pickpocketed a fella while helping into a black cab.

Muswell Hillbillies day out in Kings Cross.
(Mon 23rd Jul 2007, 13:08, More)

» Pure Ignorance

oh yeah... another american one
In pismo beach at about 8 years ago, the fit shop attendent in the surf shop says.

'geeee, you're english?'
'I would love to come to england'
come along
'but I don't speak french'

spent a while trying to convince her that english people don't speak french. We couldn't so we called out her manager, she set the dumb broad straight.
(Sat 8th Jan 2005, 15:04, More)

» Pure Ignorance

My mum isn't stupid
but something isn't quite right with the phrase

'99 times out of ten...'

but then I think I am calling the kettle blue
(Sat 8th Jan 2005, 14:59, More)

» Best Comebacks

A heckle at a speed-o-meter gig at the jazz cafe
'does anyone want to come to a party in stoke newington?'

apparently that was pretty funny.
(Fri 30th Apr 2004, 16:34, More)
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