b3ta.com user Adaminho
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» Helicopter Parents

Picture the scene
you're 16, meeting up in the middle of town trying to impress the local totty and your mates. Cue Mother walking past and loudly proclaiming " Girls! And we thought he was gay!" after that I might as well have been.
(Mon 14th Sep 2009, 19:19, More)

» Unexpected Good Fortune

Not me my brother
Early nineties and my brother does what every Irish man of school leaving age does and buggers of to the building sites in London. Every night on the way home from the pub he used to meet this homless guy, buy him a sandwich and talk to him whilst he waited for the bus. After a couple of weeks he notices said chap not begging but waiting by the bus stop for him. His (what my brother thought imaginary)£4000 cheque had came through and proceeded to take a suit out of his backpack and took my brother on a tour of what can only be described as Londons finest gentlemens clubs. And to top it all off a £100 on the way home for helping out! So folks be nice to beggars the really might be waiting on that cheque to clear.

I know its long but if my luck changes it'll get longer!
(Thu 14th Sep 2006, 21:00, More)

» Why I was late

On Holidays in Portugal recently
Myself and the wife were out for an evening meal. I decided to have one more beer before checking in on the kids.

Gerry McCann.
(Thu 28th Jun 2007, 12:38, More)

» School fights

A Horse , a horse, my Kingdom for a horse....
....about ten years ago me and a couple of mates were playing soccer on the green when along comes local "hard man" i.e. Twunt he thinks he's hard but not on a horse, yes a horse and challenge's me to a fight whilst remaining mounted on said horse!

Fight involves him trying to knock me down with horse and horse disagreeing with master. He gets frustrated and attempts to hit me with his "Reins" i.e a manky old tow rope. I grab rope, pull hard and thus force him to dismount sharply and run away crying like a girl. Me, feeling ten foot tall, thought I was king of the world until the little Twunt returns with a hammer! Trouble a foot methinks until my mate Sharon calmly walks over to him and knocks him clean out with one punch!

Upstaged by a girl but not hit with a hammer. A fair result over all.

[Generic length joke goes here]
(Wed 15th Mar 2006, 9:57, More)

» Racist grandparents

Arabs especially Turks
My Dad has a strong dislike for Turks after he saw one stab a guy in the back in the cinema in the 50's.

It was a movie.
(Thu 27th Oct 2011, 14:00, More)
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