b3ta.com user LokiMD
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Recent front page messages:

I'm so lazy
I literally changed six words. I'm lazy. These things write themselves.

Click for bigger (92 kb)
(Fri 19th Mar 2021, 23:20, More)

Not tomorrow's headlines

It was a tosser toss up between Green and Branson, but Green wins for overall reprehensible behaviour.
(Tue 24th Mar 2020, 11:26, More)

Quick and dirty, like your mom

(Sat 2nd May 2015, 15:23, More)

I hope he cleaned it first...

(Tue 16th Nov 2010, 22:52, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Accidental animal cruelty

Bad idea
I think this is a poor topic idea. Because while you'll get some genuine stories (like the bat one, which was funny in a sad way) you'll also get cruel fucks.

What's next week, "accidental rape" stories?
(Sat 8th Dec 2007, 14:50, More)

» Office Christmas Parties II

Can't think of anything worse
I'm an atheist so not Christmassy anyway, but is there anything as soul destroyingly shit as office Christmas parties. I enjoy a good social life all year round, and the thought of legislated 'party' eugh. Even a quick drink in a pub just before Xmas told me everything I needed. Just standing at the bar listening to the moronic small talk... the middle-aged women with their glittery dress and glittery bag and glittery hair trying to be all glittery talking to someone they never normally even give the time of day.


Okay that's a rant. Can I provide anything funny? Not really. I did go to one a few years back and when going to a club after stored a colleagues's dildo (she'd got it as a gift) in my pocket as my pocket could support it. As a gay guy, next day forgetting all about it, it's quite something to just put your hand in your pocket casually and produce a plastic cock.
(Mon 5th Jan 2015, 18:55, More)

» Evil Pranks

Not particularly evil...
The password story reminded me of how my mates at work changed my password to "ilovebum". Well it's not untrue, so in defiance I used it. But when my boss wanted my password when I went on holiday (yeah, we had great IT security) it got slightly dodgy.

I got my revenge on one of them. When I left the company I altered his internal job list. The boss queried him on the task that said he must "mince around the office".

I'm sure I'd done more evil things, but probably have blanked them from my memory as I am really a good boy at heart.

Oh, one extra thing I thought of... I have a friend who often falls asleep when I'm driving him somwehere. Doing an emergency stop while someone is asleep in your car is great, great fun. Try it some time.
(Mon 17th Dec 2007, 11:25, More)