b3ta.com user tomsk
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Recent front page messages:

Little sod just won't stay tuned in.

(Wed 1st Dec 2004, 10:49, More)

Awww, bless...

(Mon 12th Jul 2004, 12:03, More)

Croakin' Joe, smoothest bass player in the rainforest:

(Tue 20th Jan 2004, 20:22, More)


(Sun 4th Jan 2004, 0:34, More)


(Sat 20th Dec 2003, 0:08, More)

Go doggy go!

(Fri 19th Sep 2003, 16:10, More)

Had to get it out of my system.

(Tue 22nd Jul 2003, 22:21, More)

The cat reminded me of Wilf.

(Fri 27th Jun 2003, 22:11, More)

Trout are freshwater fish...
...and have underwater weapons.
(Thu 12th Jun 2003, 23:20, More)

The terrible truth behind cabbage.

(Sun 18th May 2003, 22:42, More)

Whiskas Insanity Chilli Flavour was a big hit.

(Thu 15th May 2003, 13:57, More)


(Wed 26th Mar 2003, 23:06, More)

I was like wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
(Mon 24th Mar 2003, 19:57, More)


(Mon 10th Feb 2003, 10:31, More)

Fuck's sake, I only nipped to the cash point.

(Fri 7th Feb 2003, 17:09, More)


(Wed 5th Feb 2003, 10:42, More)

Hmm. I dunno.

(Fri 31st Jan 2003, 12:15, More)

DJ Orky Dog in da house...

(Thu 30th Jan 2003, 12:22, More)

Fuck knows.

(Fri 24th Jan 2003, 18:21, More)

Well, hello...
I say...
(Mon 13th Jan 2003, 21:23, More)

Gibbons are ace...

They're so stretchy.
(Thu 2nd Jan 2003, 17:00, More)

A big grinning lemur for wierdlittlebiscuit:

(Thu 5th Dec 2002, 11:25, More)

I was like wheeeeeeeeeeeee!
(Fri 29th Nov 2002, 9:44, More)

Why he acts a bit odd sometimes:

(Fri 22nd Nov 2002, 14:59, More)

It's the very rare Dognosed-Dognosed-Dognosed-Dachshund.

(Fri 22nd Nov 2002, 10:22, More)


(Tue 29th Oct 2002, 18:09, More)


(Tue 1st Oct 2002, 11:20, More)

Kitty didn't like his new job.

(Mon 30th Sep 2002, 18:51, More)

Dammit. Little buggers got out again.

(Thu 5th Sep 2002, 9:09, More)


(Thu 29th Aug 2002, 10:53, More)

Me mum bought me a waffle iron. I'm scared to go near it.
(Fri 23rd Aug 2002, 15:08, More)

Nice to know that people are finally getting the message about basic pet safety.

I dunno why, I just like the idea of safe animals. Very sensible.
(Mon 19th Aug 2002, 13:36, More)

Further adventures of...

(Fri 16th Aug 2002, 13:38, More)


(Fri 16th Aug 2002, 12:56, More)

Bad monkey! Down!

(Wed 7th Aug 2002, 16:50, More)

The lightbulbmoose's antlers are highly prized, which has lead to a dramatic decline in their population.
Click for big...
(Fri 2nd Aug 2002, 10:32, More)

Goodbye my Coney Island Baaaaaay-beeeee!
(Sun 21st Jul 2002, 0:18, More)

Cute or scary?

(Fri 19th Jul 2002, 13:32, More)


Clicky for huge.
(Thu 18th Jul 2002, 13:22, More)


Clicky for big
(Mon 15th Jul 2002, 20:55, More)

Gah. I hate work. Too busy to photoshop anything.

Here's one I made earlier for Smirnoff's birthday card.
(Mon 15th Jul 2002, 18:07, More)


(Wed 3rd Jul 2002, 16:39, More)

I love Photoshop.
(Tue 2nd Jul 2002, 15:41, More)

This Richard Whitely Stress Squeezer

took way too long to make, for what it is. Oh well.
(Fri 28th Jun 2002, 12:22, More)


(Fri 21st Jun 2002, 21:56, More)

Don't mess...
(Fri 21st Jun 2002, 17:46, More)

Mintiness abounds:

For best results serve loud.
(Tue 18th Jun 2002, 16:14, More)


(Tue 18th Jun 2002, 10:26, More)

Right. I'm off for the rest of the week, but I leave you with this.

(Wed 12th Jun 2002, 22:04, More)


(Mon 10th Jun 2002, 11:06, More)

Dali would've loved Photoshop.

I warned you I was off to do silly arty things. I'll stop now. Clicky picky for big, if you're into that kind of thing...
(Fri 7th Jun 2002, 19:56, More)

Public Safety Announcement:

(Wed 5th Jun 2002, 16:02, More)

Feeling immensely juvenile today.

Gawd. Sorry.
(Wed 5th Jun 2002, 11:37, More)

Proof: Blair has joined the darkside...

(Tue 4th Jun 2002, 16:10, More)

Got milk?
(Mon 27th May 2002, 19:56, More)

Blaine's new party trick:

(Fri 24th May 2002, 11:50, More)

12 Dimensional Kitten Theory:

(Thu 23rd May 2002, 16:22, More)

My last modified fishy thing:
The Basking Jetshark.

(Wed 15th May 2002, 18:07, More)

That's better.

(Wed 15th May 2002, 9:11, More)

Mornin' all.
Fly Catfish!
(Wed 15th May 2002, 8:24, More)

Jet powered mantaray. Woo.

(Tue 14th May 2002, 20:40, More)

The Royal Legoland Airforce
never stood a chance...

Don't know where this was going really. Thought I'd show you anyway.
(Mon 13th May 2002, 17:57, More)

They may look cute
but they can turn at any moment...
Tamarinius mcdonaldii
(Sat 4th May 2002, 14:25, More)

Redicho and Nachfusion:

(Thu 25th Apr 2002, 13:28, More)


(Thu 25th Apr 2002, 11:12, More)

When Clangers Attack...

(Wed 24th Apr 2002, 17:24, More)

For Fishbear
Not for sale in shops. Or anywhere else, for that matter.
(Tue 23rd Apr 2002, 12:51, More)

b3ta EXCLUSIVE! New Will Young Promo...

(Tue 23rd Apr 2002, 9:49, More)

Happy family.
Terms and conditions apply
(Sat 20th Apr 2002, 17:05, More)

Mornin' all.

The second installment in a series on anigifs representing womble-hangover-pain.
Woo! for parties. Boo! for hangovers.
(Sat 20th Apr 2002, 9:50, More)

Here's an animated moomin for y'all:
A moomin, yesterday
I made him for a Flash thing I'm making, but I liked him so much I made him into a gif for you. Be nice to him.
(Fri 19th Apr 2002, 10:56, More)

Oi Lumpbucket:

Good morning...
(Thu 18th Apr 2002, 8:58, More)

I made this.
It's a cat. Throwing a pot. Okay?
But Dr. Phil came up with the idea. She said that he looked like he should be throwing a pot or something.
I thought it was a nice idea.
(Mon 15th Apr 2002, 19:10, More)


Last night I drank:
1 x Pint Spanish Lager.
2 x Pint Staropramen.
1 x double Grants whiskey.
That's not a heavy night is it?
Why do I feel like death at 3.20pm then?
(Sat 13th Apr 2002, 14:25, More)

Aaaargh! Wasps...
You there?
I made you a testcard. For your gallery.

Hope nobody did it already...
(Thu 11th Apr 2002, 21:45, More)

Previously unseen footage...
You have made me angry. Very angry indeed
Funny Marvin The Martian .WAV wot I liked...
(Thu 11th Apr 2002, 15:30, More)

Just testing my new hosting account...

(Wed 10th Apr 2002, 12:58, More)

I dunno...

(Mon 8th Apr 2002, 13:25, More)

No one's here
but I don't care. I'll probably repost it later.
This fucker deserves it:
(Sun 7th Apr 2002, 1:15, More)

a Cat in a Biplane.
(Tue 2nd Apr 2002, 11:08, More)

Mornin' all. Sorry about the size...
The Jesusrocket: make your ascent into eternity TURBOCHARGED!
If they promoted an Allah version for the Muslim markets as well I reckon we could have world peace by 2009...
(Tue 2nd Apr 2002, 3:36, More)

So very, very bored...

rehosted from www.tomandphil.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/tomsk/touretteshamlet.gif 01/08/2012
(Mon 25th Mar 2002, 4:31, More)

This one
is really sad. Sorry.

(Fri 22nd Mar 2002, 10:35, More)

Like this?

(Thu 21st Mar 2002, 4:42, More)


(Tue 19th Mar 2002, 6:06, More)

We like bunnies...

(Sat 16th Mar 2002, 18:14, More)

New Game.

Don't worry, they're all trained stunt kittens.
(Thu 14th Mar 2002, 10:12, More)


This is my first attempt at Photoshoppin'. It's for your zoo. Hope it works...
(Fri 1st Mar 2002, 8:56, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Worst Record Ever

American Pie, by Don McLean
I used to DJ at one of our university's students-get-pissed-and-cop-off nights. The regulars always requested it, about ten times a night, and we always had to play it. It was the night's No.1 cheezy anthem.
The tone-deaf morons who usually swayed around whilst it was playing, in big "besht-mate" circles, occasionally got a little rowdy. On the last night I played it out, one of these drunken gangs bounced onto the lovely beer stained drapes, and pulled the suspended ceiling down, light fittings and all, on everybody's heads.
No-one died, but it was a close thing.
It's a godawful song, maybe not quite as bad, in absolute terms, as "Lady in Red", but then no-one ever threatened to hit me for not playing Chris De Burgh. I gave up being a DJ after university. And no I haven't got any fucking ABBA.
(Tue 2nd Dec 2003, 19:55, More)

» School Trips

Food poisoning.
On our second year high-school French trip the entire party of about 100 or so kids and teachers got food poisoning, full-on vomiting everywhere, raging diarrhoea, unable to move for two days food poisoning. There was only one teacher who didn't get sick. It was carnage. One of the lads I was sharing a room with threw up on my bed whilst I was in it because he couldn't get to the bathroom fast enough.

I would have felt sorry for the hotel staff who had to clean up after us, if it wasn't for the fact that they were the same bastards who poisoned us in the first place. Still, it got us out of actually having to speak any French. We spent the rest of the week pissing about at country parks and doing no work at all.
(Thu 7th Dec 2006, 13:44, More)

» The Meaning Of Giff

The condition of being significantly more drunk than everyone else and finding funny things that your more sober companions find unamusing or even offensive.

"We must have been a bit wykey cos we were giggling at jokes about dead people but nobody else was laughing."

"George always gets a bit wykey after a few pints, ignore him."
(Thu 3rd May 2018, 0:06, More)

» Walkman Flashbacks

Orbital's 'In Sides'
instantly takes me back to playing Descent (the first one) over and over again. I feel like I should strafe about watching for flying mining robots Gone Bad whenever I hear it.
(Fri 25th Mar 2005, 16:57, More)

» Have you ever been rude to a celebrity?

A friend of mine
once smacked Shane McGowan in the face.
It was an accident, and Shane didn't seem to mind much. He just said "Sorry" to my friend, and wobbled off into the distance whilst we stood around gawping.
(Thu 15th Apr 2004, 13:06, More)
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