b3ta.com user noom
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I enjoy doing stuff to things.

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» Black Sheep

Also possibly worth mentioning my cousin...
... who did a three year law degree, which apparantly helped her land a fantastic position as the girlfriend of a rich 52 year old lawyer. She's about 24 I believe.

Smart girl.
(Sun 16th Jan 2005, 4:56, More)

» When animals attack...

It was a lovely horse really...
One night after coming home in a bit of a bad mood (yay rejection), I went for a walk to clear my head and sobre up a bit before sleeping. Anyways, I found one of the local gypsy horses lying down, tethered to a tree, and sat down with it to feed it some grass. In my drunken state I got somewhat complacent and put my fingers too far into the horses mouth, resulting in a very firm horse bite. When retold, the story always goes that I then punched the horse and ran... I, however, maintain that I just gave it a stern telling off and walked away.

Of course the fact that I was the only person there apparantly has no bearing on the "truth".
(Sun 5th Jun 2005, 18:29, More)

» Walkman Flashbacks

Walk like an Egyption makes me think of my Uncle Steve for some reason. I don't think he's Egyption... pretty sure he can walk but that'd be a tad tenuous.

Also, I get strange pangs of something like love when I hear Elastica... I am quite sure this is not out of love for the song, so assume it was something to do with youth-club-disco-solvent-crush of some kind...
(Sat 26th Mar 2005, 2:16, More)

» Black Sheep

My Gran (mother's mother) was pretty bad
She's dead now, God rest her evil festering soul. Let's just try and list some of the things she's done...

When we went out for a meal one time, she couldn't decide what to have to drink, and eventually decided to order some "sparkling tap water". Yup, she didn't want plain old tap water, but sparkling mineral water was too much. She did of course complain when they bought out sparking mineral water, and then - upon noticing the look of restrained amusement on my sister's face - made some very scathing comment about us all "knowing shat she was up to" and continued to insult her for the whole remainder of the meal.

She also refused to talk to my mother for two years upon finding out that she's gone to visit my other gran for a week, and not her (probably a blessing considering her frequent graphic discussion of her bowel problems when on the phone). Prior to this she always instructed mai mother to only visit HER with her time off, and none of our other relatives.

Everything my Grandpa ever said, she would question him patronisingly til he changed his mind. Fortunately my Grandpa is a smart man, and soon learnt to never say what he initially meant.

I'm sure there's many other terrible things she's done, but those are the best. I'm very upset that a quarter of my DNA came from this woman.
(Sat 15th Jan 2005, 3:21, More)