» My Worst Vomit

A Non-Alchohol Induced Incident
Had a quantity of extremely badly cooked barbeque food, dripping with grease. (OK, the chef was my prospective shag for that night, so I wasn't going to complain). I felt pretty awful, and lost out on the shag, so decided to hop on my motorcycle and ride home. Felt horrible, sweating profusely and belching foul smelling gases. Riding quite rapidly 'cos I was pissed off, caught a tractor-trailer combo at a fair rate of knots. Oncoming traffic, so I sat behind the crawling rig. Which appeared to be dripping. Then the smell of offal hit me. I got to a point of no return, pass or puke so I wound the throttle to the stop and screamed past the rig like a bat out of hell. And then threw. Full face helmet, 75 mph. Blind. Well, severe visual jaundice actually. Fumbled to open up the visor, and was then re-blinded by a wind-borne spray of semi-digested food. Came to a halt rapidly on the second blinding, and was nearly wiped out by an oncoming truck. Got home with front smelling of vomit, and rear end with evidence of close call. Most unpleasant. Week off work with food poisoning. And no, I never did shag her.
(Tue 24th Aug 2004, 12:45, More)