b3ta.com user mr_chopper
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why haven't i died

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» Unusual talents

The one-armed clock
I'd perform this most Chemistry lessons, sat on the back row, to a proud number of girls - whether they wanted it or not. Looking back I can't see how I didn't get sent to the headteacher, or at least get some form of complaint. I can only assume that the girls LOVED my one-armed clock and for them it was some kind of treat.

At least that's what I told myself at the time. When I regaled my work colleagues with this tale after a few pints they looked at me like I'd revealed myself to be Josef Fritzl. I understand how he feels now.

The most embarrassing aspect of it all was being able to find no way of explaining to my mum why a girl named Lucy Leck had written "mr_chopper, you have a beautiful cock" on my shirt on the last day of school.
(Fri 19th Nov 2010, 20:35, More)

» It was a great holiday, but...

my mum died.
so you know, the whole experience turned *rather sour*.
(Sun 24th Apr 2005, 21:13, More)