Profile for dibledo:
Can't draw and aren't funny. Can swear a lot though.
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- a member for 21 years, 6 months and 9 days
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Can't draw and aren't funny. Can swear a lot though.
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Shit Stories
On her majesty's service
Friend of mine in the army, coincidentally called Major Log, told us this story. "Apparently", when stationed in Germany there was a local cabaret act who would bet any member of the audience that they would be unable to curl one off on her face.
Being a heavily army populated town, this challenge was frequently taken up. The challenger would take to the stage, drop his kacks and squat over the prostrate woman. The cunning minx would gently blow on the ringpiece in front of her face, and lo and behold, the challenger would be unable to open his brown eye. German lady wins the cash.
Knowing of this challenge, Major Log and his team forced one of their squaddies to suffer a two day diet of curry, lager, beans, cabbage, more curry, more lager, etc. etc. while at the same time strictly forbidding him from letting his brown trouts loose. Squaddy is taken to club, and when the challenge is laid down he is pushed to the stage.
Picture the finale of the story. German lady on her back. Squaddy drops kacks. German lady positions herself, starts blowing. Master of ceremonies gives the go ahead to young man to attempt that which had yet to be achieved.
World falls out of his bottom.
Bottom falls out of her world.
She is never seen in that town again.
(Fri 7th May 2004, 21:25, More)
On her majesty's service
Friend of mine in the army, coincidentally called Major Log, told us this story. "Apparently", when stationed in Germany there was a local cabaret act who would bet any member of the audience that they would be unable to curl one off on her face.
Being a heavily army populated town, this challenge was frequently taken up. The challenger would take to the stage, drop his kacks and squat over the prostrate woman. The cunning minx would gently blow on the ringpiece in front of her face, and lo and behold, the challenger would be unable to open his brown eye. German lady wins the cash.
Knowing of this challenge, Major Log and his team forced one of their squaddies to suffer a two day diet of curry, lager, beans, cabbage, more curry, more lager, etc. etc. while at the same time strictly forbidding him from letting his brown trouts loose. Squaddy is taken to club, and when the challenge is laid down he is pushed to the stage.
Picture the finale of the story. German lady on her back. Squaddy drops kacks. German lady positions herself, starts blowing. Master of ceremonies gives the go ahead to young man to attempt that which had yet to be achieved.
World falls out of his bottom.
Bottom falls out of her world.
She is never seen in that town again.
(Fri 7th May 2004, 21:25, More)
» Guilty Laughs
Not funny. Not at all.
Years back, young and fancy free. Staying with some friends in the South of France, who had somehow become friends with some local youngsters, who happened to have been left in charge of a reasonably large yacht in Cannes Marina.
Set off for a party on said boat. Arrived and just ourselves (me, friend, friend's girlfriend, and friend's bro) and about six of the rich youngsters. All of whom were looking somewhat down-in-the-mouth. Not in party mode at all.
Appropriate noises were made and lead young-toff said that they were all going to have to head back to the UK that evening becase they had lost their baby sister.
"And they need all of you to help find her?"
Needless to say, we left immediately after.
(Fri 23rd Jul 2010, 21:49, More)
Not funny. Not at all.
Years back, young and fancy free. Staying with some friends in the South of France, who had somehow become friends with some local youngsters, who happened to have been left in charge of a reasonably large yacht in Cannes Marina.
Set off for a party on said boat. Arrived and just ourselves (me, friend, friend's girlfriend, and friend's bro) and about six of the rich youngsters. All of whom were looking somewhat down-in-the-mouth. Not in party mode at all.
Appropriate noises were made and lead young-toff said that they were all going to have to head back to the UK that evening becase they had lost their baby sister.
"And they need all of you to help find her?"
Needless to say, we left immediately after.
(Fri 23rd Jul 2010, 21:49, More)