» Shame

A..
while back, when I was doing up my house with my ex g/f, I used to go out on Friday nights, with mates, to let off steam, as it were. Anyway, every now and then (well, ok, every Friday) I'd get absolutely trashed and to avoid the embarrassing phone call from her in the morning I’d simply leave club, go directly to house-in-progress and sleep there, so when she did call me I'd already be at the new place, working! (still in bed, having slept for about 15 mins)

Anywayyyy...this she never caught onto. The shame bit though was one particular Saturday morning, being dragged around the local B&Q with my head in a sling, feeling like I was about to die, I bumped into an OAP in one of those motorised shopping trolley things. On seeing him in my delicate state I said
"God I could do with one of those today"
to which he answered...
"I'd rather be able to walk"


ouch..
(Tue 29th Nov 2005, 13:41, More)

» Mugged

Birmingham..
Aston to bemore precise, wandering back from lunch through one of the many subways that Birmingham City coucil planners are so fond of. Anyway, I was mid argument with girlfriend on my phone at the time. (looking back, a kinda silly move to be on my phone).
I could sense someone behind me and as i came to the subway exit, a young guy, about 16/17 or so in a hoody appears at my side - and asks me the for a ciggy.
Sensing this young brigands malicious intent, I tell the girlfreind to "shut up for a minute" calmy take the phone away from the side of my head, look this guy in the eye and say (very uncharateristically - Im short and very much the pacifist)..
"You should fuck off right now before I rip your fucking head off mate..." he goes to speak so I tell interrupt "Seriously man, go, NOW. I'm giving you fuckall." - stunned, this guy looks at me confused with a "this isnt how its meant to happen" look on his face. Meanwhile I tell my girlfriend to be quiet, as i'm about to kill a mugger.
He runs off at this point...

I suppose the moral of this story is, bet way to handle a mugger is have an argument with a laaaydeee just beforehand...
(Fri 16th Jun 2006, 12:08, More)

» Messing with the Dark Side

I have somewhere...
a photo of me and the family outside the (then)derelict remains of my dads family house in Ireland.
It was taken in the 70's possibly around 77 or 78 so there we are, all lookin like the Partridge family, around the front of the place which has no roof, no internal floors etc etc.
When the holiday photos came back, there is, in two of them, what looks like a nun sitting in one of the upstairs windows.
They're freaky! If I can dig them out, or if Shielsy can, one of us will post em!
(Thu 20th Apr 2006, 15:13, More)

» Have you ever paid for sex?

As Andrew Dice Clay put it...
"I bought you fuckin pizza"

Never paid for it in the "sucky fucky, 5 bucks" manner, but Ive paid for my fair share of "dry white wines" over the years.

No moral high horse here though, just I suppose I've always been kinda lucky!
(Thu 19th Jan 2006, 15:59, More)

» My first love

my fust love was....
Maria Eaton, wonderful breasts, sadly I never got my hands on them...I could barely talk to her let alone ask her "out".

but when she spoke...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Schoolboy crush(ed), long time ago.

the end
(Wed 26th Oct 2005, 11:55, More)