b3ta.com user jimi.vicious
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» Job Interviews

Not the interview itself, but...
A few years ago when I was New Deal scum, I was sent for an interview at a youth centre here in Nottingham.

The interview itself went great. I answered all the questions, and said all the right things. We shook hands and I left to catch the bus home.

I arrived home ONE HOUR later, and turned on the TV, which was showing local news. The first thing I saw was a burning building which looked very familiar.

Yes. In the time it took me to get home, the VERY SAME youth centre had been attacked by arsonists and had been completely destroyed.

(Sun 23rd Jan 2005, 0:32, More)

» I Drank Meths (pointless teenage things you did to shock)

Another one I just remembered...
I turned up to school one day in a t-shirt that said 'Same S**t, Different Day'.

I was immediately marched down to the headmaster's office and he went absolutely loopy.

"How dare you! Does your mother know you're wearing that?"

"Er... she bought it for me sir!"

I showed them. Yeah...
(Thu 19th Jul 2007, 13:09, More)

» Insults

Best (worst?) insult I remember from school was...
"Your mum's tits are so juicy that the man from Del Monté said yes!"

Which is hardly an insult is it? I mean, it's a compliment if anything!
(Thu 4th Oct 2007, 13:15, More)

» The Dirty Secrets of Your Trade

I once worked for a major high-street retailer...
...who would swap all the paperwork that came with their printers. So instead of getting a three year manufacturers warranty as was supposed to happen, you got a one year warranty and "would you like to buy extended cover on that?".

100% true. Robbing cunts!
(Thu 27th Sep 2007, 12:42, More)

» Crappy Prizes

Another one, reminded by Fulrokitty's post...
Not a prize exactly, but...

...I arrived home one day to find one of those 'We have a parcel...' cards as well. As I am at work all day, the only time I can collect is early in the morning. So the following morning, I got up AN HOUR earlier than usual to pick up my parcel (the depot is in completely the opposite direction to work y'see).

I had assumed it was something to do with the broadband account I had just signed up for, or the modem I had ordered. What was my parcel? A free energy-saving light bulb from my bloody electricity company! BASTARDS! I COULD HAVE HAD ANOTHER HOUR IN BED!

Fortunately I am saving millions on my electricity bills - probably.
(Thu 4th Aug 2005, 20:45, More)
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