» Cringe!

Many , many moons ago
Back when cereal boxes all contained toys and the only alcohol to touch my lips was the obligatory white lightning or kiwi flavoured 20/20, i was the ripe young age of 15, there had been some kind of sleepover involving about 8 or so friends, and my and my lovely young misses at the time had zipped are 2 sleeping bags together, to create a private sanctuary, and with the unencumbered spirit of youth, we had both slept in the buff.
The morning sun had risen and everyone else had gone of to make bacon sarnies. We started a little heavy petting, we had shed our sleeping bag of protection and she was sitting on top of me, as a lay there and rose in more ways than 1 from my sleep.
I remember looking up into her eyes, when i heard the faint creak of a door, and my eyes lept from those of my lovely young lady to the rather appauled and disgusted face of my good friends mum

...shiver...

the face disappeared as quickly as it had appeared and we covered up our shame, although i was never allowed entry in to that particular humble abode ever again. (fna fna)
At the time it was more funny than embarrasing but now 15 years on i have a slightly better idea of how i'd feel if i walked in to my front room of a Saturday morning to find 2 teenagers naked and giggling on my best wool rug, and i cringe and die inside a little.
(Fri 28th Nov 2008, 17:33, More)

» Insults

Nabis Meshugna
was a regular insult battered about the place when i was a nipper i think it roughly translates as lame troublemaker, ahhh the innocence of youth and strangley none of us were jewish, today my favourites are still those you can use in everyday company like fruitloop, crazy horse, nutbar, guffnut , dustbin face, oversized growbag, or great big chuffing cleg bead.
(Fri 5th Oct 2007, 13:47, More)

» World's Most Hated Food

when i was a kid i had a collapsed lung....
i used to cough up this dusty substance.. tasted exactly like chick peas
(Fri 16th Jul 2004, 9:42, More)