» Public Transport Trauma

A lesson in Chivalry
Many years ago, when I were just a lad, I was travelling on the bus with my brother, dear ol mum and my Uncle.

Aaanyway, the bus starts to fill up and as properly raised little gentlemen (with our mum watching) we were sure to give up our seats to any little old ladies who wanted them.

Eventually its just my uncle and mum left sitting, and another old dear gets on.

My uncle stands and indicates for her to sit down, which she does. Then my uncle taps her on the shoulder and says, ''Oh, I'm sorry, I left my paper there and you're sitting on it.' So she stands back up to let my uncle retrieve his paper and, quick as a bunny, he slips back in and sits down again, nudging the old dear into the aisle.

'The next time someone is gentleman enough to offer you their seat, you be lady enough to say thank you'

The look on her face was priceless, and with most of the passengars (including mammy dear) supressing giggles the old bat got off at the next stop, lesson learned. :)
(Wed 4th Jun 2008, 23:54, More)

» My most gullible moment

the dumbest guy I knew....
OK, I know its supposed to be MY gullible moment, but to hell with it.

when we were young lads there was one kid in our 'gang'. Noone could ever figure out who's friend he actually was... but any time we were out playing in the street or geting up to mischief he was always there... you probably know they type... lots of groups have them. He was as dumb as a housebrick.

This may sound cruel but we mostly tolerated him for the fun he offered. Ya see, We used to compete to see who could make him believe the stupidest thing.

I wont bore you with a list... but here are the best two....

1: We convinced him that 'calories' were visible, and by picking these small imaginary particles out of a glass of coke.. we made it diet coke. He spent HOURS staring into a glass trying to spot them before finally proclaiming he could...

2: As little tykes who got up to know good, we, on occasion, tried sniffing lighter fluid. It was the fad of the day after all. Aaaanyway, one of our gang told him it was stronger when lit, and passed him a LIT zippo.... no.... surely not..... he wouldn't..... YUP... pulled it to his nose, took a nice long drag, burned out his nostrils, sreamed, and never trusted us again.

I'm guessing he works for the government now. :)

Click 'I Like This' if you want the full list...
(Fri 22nd Aug 2008, 5:57, More)

» Thrown away: The stuff you loved and lost.

Should I feel Guilty...
Despite being a big hairy thirty-something bloke, I'm not afraid to admit having had a favorite teddybear as a kid - A giant (3.5' ish) Panda I had named 'Bungle'

Fast forward to my late teens, and I realise that despite not caring for many years, I couldn't remember where I'd left my beloved old bear....and out of curiosity I ask my mother if she's seen him. She admits to having donated him to a local hospital a year or so previous (along with some other toys) as I was clearly 'too old for teddys now'. Grrrrrr....

Quite why I freaked out as much as I did I'm not sure... but riddled with guilt my mum returned to the hospital, where the dog eared and much loved bear was STILL there, being played with by, I can only imagine, small bald children at deaths door.

She stole the donated toy BACK from the sick children and returned it to me... and soon after he moved to the attic to take up permanent residence.

Reading this QOTW reminded me of bungle... I never collected him when we moved house. I wonder if he's still there.... and if I can convince my mom to try some B and E.....:)
(Wed 20th Aug 2008, 6:20, More)

» Advice from Old People

My Granny
Always used to say:
''If your nose runs and your feet smell, then god built you upside down''

OK... not technically advice... but it stuck.

Click if you're going to repeat this the next time you have the sniffles... go on.. you know you will.
(Thu 26th Jun 2008, 8:55, More)