b3ta.com user The Rabid Ferret of Doom
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Profile for The Rabid Ferret of Doom:
Profile Info:

By day, pissed off.

By night, pissed.

That's it.

Some people think of really cool and interesting stuff to put in their profiles. They make them lovely and musical and entertaining.

This profile, however, is dull. You'd be well advised to stop reading. It won't get any better. Not by even a jot.

Still here? Perhaps you'd like to know that I'm very bad at playing guitar. Also, I don't have earlobes. It's a genetic thing.

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Crap meals out

Revenge is sweet...
Picture the scene... overpriced, bland meal, grumpy mare of a waitress and I finally make it through to the dessert.

I ordered the Sticky Toffee Pudding for dessert and what arrives? Naturally, one of Brake Brothers' finest. I mean, if they're only charging you six quid a portion for dessert, should they really bother making it themselves when they can just buy it?

Still, it was a bit cold, so I sent it back.

Microwaves are marvellous things. I could hear the shouting in the kitchen from halfway across the restaurant.

Perhaps I should have told them about the 3 2p coins I'd pushed inside the pudding?
(Mon 1st May 2006, 9:57, More)

» The Weird Kid In Class

Johnny the Werewolf
I was lucky enough to go to a good school in Essex (one of few) which contained some pretty damn bright sparks (I wasn't one of them.)

One such spark, however, was Johnny. He was stupendously intelligent, but totally socially retarded. He played flute in the school orchestra and we'd point and laugh at the way he'd close his eyes and sway gently as he played. This was fair enough, a lot of people really get into their music.

He was generally avoided in school by pretty much everyone, being impossible to hold a conversation with. I know for fact that he got 11 A*s in his GCSEs, and one B. His parents nearly threw him out for letting a grade slip, which may well explain why he was so fucked up... Twats for parents can do that.

However, a friend of mine saw him last. He was on a program on Channel 4 about people who think they're wolves. It turns out that shortly after finishing school, he bought a wolf T-shirt and started walking on all-fours.

He now genuinely thinks he's a wolf.

Fucking wierd....
(Fri 19th Jan 2007, 14:33, More)

» I just don't get it

1337 spk
What the fuck are they banging on about? It's the same as Txtspk. Why can't people write whole words? In english?

These days, it's cool to sound like a complete fucking moron.

(Thu 31st Mar 2005, 14:00, More)

» Ignoring Instructions

A good friend of mine....
known, ironically, as Large, has had a couple of mishaps in the kitchen.

Living on a diet of beer, chicken, ham, cheese and bread has always left him a little resticted in his diet, however he discovered chicken cordon bleu just a couple of years back.

Living in a shared house with his mate Gordie, he would regularly come back shit-faced. On one such night, he returned home pissed as a fart and chucked a couple of chicken lumps in the Aga. (Advice on instructions - Cook for 30 minutes)

He then proceeded to sit on the sofa, order Pizza and then eat said pizza following it's subsequent delivery. He then fucked off to bed.

Gordie returned a few hours later to find the Aga streaming smoke - The 30 minute guideline having been somewhat exeeded.

He ventured up to Large's beedroom with cries of "Large, wake up you fuckwit, you've set the oven on fire!"

Large then proceeded to dance around the kitchen in his boxer shorts, singing "We love you Largey" to the tune of the Andy Williams' classic "Can't take my eyes off of you".

3 Weeks later he did exactly the same thing again. Genious.

Apologies for length, etc...
(Mon 8th May 2006, 14:16, More)

» I just don't get it

People who reply to an enty on QOTW
It's a place to post an answer to the question of the week. Why do people feel the need to add a comment?

There are message boards for discussions...

Edit - Hehe. See above.
(Thu 31st Mar 2005, 14:05, More)
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