b3ta.com user Netspore
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ONE LUMP OR TWO (BEST BITS)

These are some of the now defunct "one Lump or Two" series. They stopped being funny some time ago.

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Best answers to questions:

» Stupid Tourists

Australia
G'day!

I'm a Brit on holiday in Australia at the moment. I'll let you know if I do anything stupid.

Does going to Australia when it's winter here and there's a bloody heatwave back home count? There were floods a few days ago!

Best part of a grand down the toilet (dunnie).

Arse!
(Wed 13th Jul 2005, 8:22, More)

» Have you ever started a fire?

I was once accused of arson about 10 or 11 years ago
I got a knock on my door from a policeman asking to interview me. My dad (a policeman at the time) duly wanted to know what this was all about. Basically the local sports pavillion in our villiage had burnt down 2 nights ago, a boy fitting my description was seen running away from the blaze in the middle of the night. Luckily for me I had an alibi as I was in Ibiza at the time with my family (before it was the clubbers destination of choice). However we later found out that the father of a local boy (whose son happens to have a similar appearance to me) told them I had done it and that he'd seen me running away!

It's a small villiage, and only 2 lads (including me) of a similar age and appearance. Nobody was ever convicted of it, but you work it out!

Lying git!
(Thu 4th Mar 2004, 13:10, More)