b3ta.com user cuntymints
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I'm setting up www.rudesweets.co.uk at the moment, on which I plan to sell... cuntymints, as well as other stuff. Any one for a clitoris allsort? tangy fuckstick? salty nut bag?

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» People with Stupid Names

nominative pre-determinism
There's a phenomenon that makes people end up doing jobs as adults which suit the names they were given as children - it's called nominative pre-determinism. Years ago, I worked for the Scottish Wildlife Trust, as did Rebecca Badger, Heath Brown and Forrest Craig! Fucking scary! I'm so glad my parents didn't call me Spastic Shitlicker!
(Thu 26th Aug 2004, 17:42, More)

» Best Comebacks

And I did get into them, eventually!
I was once talking to a girl in a bar - she was wearing really tight jeans. I asked her. "How do you get into those jeans?" Her reply, "A gin and tonic would be a good start!" Nice! And I did get into them, eventually!
(Fri 30th Apr 2004, 15:51, More)

» Best Comebacks

Shabbyshop fizz-faced cunt!
When I was at Uni, I worked the summer holidays in the Habitat store in Edinburgh. I turned up for work a few minutes late one Monday morning and found the store closed (for staff training - apparently). A woman was standing outside the front doors with a face like fizz. I asked her' "Isn't the shop open?" She replied, "If it was open, I'd be in there, wouldn't I, Moron!". She then noticed my Habitat staff badge, showing from under my coat, and asked, "Isn't there a staff entrance you can use?". My reply, of course, was, "If there was, I'd be in there, wouldn't I, Moron!". When we eventually got in, half an hour later, she reported me to the manager and I got a verbal warning. Cunt!
(Fri 30th Apr 2004, 15:44, More)

» Pretentious bollocks

Jonty's Klang
I once went to see a guy called Jonty Harrison perform a piece of music called 'Klang'. He had recorded himself banging pirex dishes together and sat in front of the audience, moving the playback of the recording to and from speakers sat around the room. I sat through it all, and it was shite!
(Wed 28th Sep 2005, 22:52, More)

» People with Stupid Names

Pull yourself together woman...
I used to know a woman called Annette Curtin, and my mate went to School with a girl called Iona Fridge. I bet they're both domestic goddesses now!
(Thu 26th Aug 2004, 17:51, More)
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