Buy some lovely t-shirts
(Fri 31st Dec 2004, 0:03, More)

I think Harold fancies you...

(Sat 20th Nov 2004, 12:11, More)

Saw this roadsign earlier...

(Tue 27th Jul 2004, 20:55, More)

Edit: Thanks for FP, do you realise this is rather shoddy, though?
(Wed 4th Feb 2004, 22:28, More)

Moonwalking With Monarchs
Tuesdays 8PM, BBC1

(Sun 28th Dec 2003, 19:23, More)

Simon Cowell
Has to undo his fly to see where he's going

(Wed 24th Dec 2003, 2:06, More)

Hold Music
for the deaf

woo, thanks for FP!
(Mon 15th Dec 2003, 1:11, More)

In China, Morris Dancing
is considered a state crime.

clicky go big!
(Fri 24th Oct 2003, 16:55, More)

Old Duffer...
That'll be Craig David Dickinson. Twat².

clicky go big!
(Fri 26th Sep 2003, 23:19, More)

Out of the cabinet
and into hell...

clicky go big!
(Wed 24th Sep 2003, 16:30, More)

» Dad Jokes

Board Games
Not a joke, per se, but an anecdote:

Last Christmas, my dad was getting out this wheel of cheese from the fridge and getting it ready to place out on the kitchen table for a buffet. He looked at it for a moment and attempted to comment how the six different wedges of cheese reminded him of a certain trivia-based board game.

He started the sentence with "That looks just like the little cheesy counters from that game... you know..." And then his voice faltered and he started mumbling; presumably to recall the name of the game he was searching for. I didn't help, I just stood there giving him a funny look.

After about a minute, his face brightened and he exclaimed loudly: "Pubic Trapeze!"

After I had picked myself up from the floor and the pain of laughing had died down, I gently reminded him that he was looking for the words "Trivial" and "Pursuit".
(Wed 10th Dec 2003, 2:25, More)

» Dad Jokes

Numbers
If you were to say something like "The Famous Five," or "Blake's Seven", he would immediately pipe up with "West Bromwich Albion Four".
(Wed 10th Dec 2003, 23:01, More)

» Worst Record Ever

I have Middle of Nowhere
by Hanson.

*short drop; sharp snap.*
(Tue 2nd Dec 2003, 17:31, More)

» Lies Your Parents Told You

Granny once said:
"Flush after peeing in the night, or else the smell will float into your room and kill you slowly while you sleep."

That scared me more than anything in the world!I make a point of not flushing if I have to pee in the night now.
(Fri 16th Jan 2004, 3:54, More)