» Clients Are Stupid

Bikeshop.
I work in a halfords bikehut (Big superstore deeley with cycles upstairs on a mezz floor) about 500 yards down the road from an IBD (small, independant bike shop....you know the kind.)

One woman came in asking about Mongoose BMX's. Do you have any in? she asks...
No, says I, we dont stock them.
Yes you do, says she, I asked last week and you (pointing at me) said you'd be getting the new ones any time soon.

we argued back and fore for about 10 minutes. Turned out she's got us mixed up with IBD down the road (Huge superstore WITH STAIRS Vs small, two room IBD) and got me (5'9", dark long hair, funny goatee thing) mixed up with Stu from IBD (6'4", red ginger hair, ZZ top beard)

Dont get me started on the bloke who wanted to put stunt pegs on his road bike.
(Fri 2nd Jan 2004, 0:06, More)

» Old stuff I still know

IKM JKI POC
wonder player cheat for wimbledon on the master system. ugh
(Mon 4th Jul 2011, 23:16, More)

» Customers from Hell

Bike shop and a half
The first one was at a large, orange themed car parts/pretend bike retailer. Customer walks in holding a front wheel. He says he has a puncture, and wants and new tyre and tube.

Me:
"That'll be about £20, depending on the tyre....ooh, hang on. It's got sick on it. You'll have to clean that off first"

The tyre had lovely chunks of curdly, scrambled egg looking puke on it. Awesome.

Him:
"Yes, I know. That's why I want a new tyre and I want you to do it."

Me:
"Ok. Fuck off."

He went a bit mental. Stormed off to the supervisor, who after I had explained my side of the argument, came back with the mother of all replies.

"Fair enough...."


Now I work in a proper, specialised bike shop, you tend to get a higher class of idiot. The ones you really don't know how they hold down their 40K a year job.

Mannie buys a cycle computer off us. I take it out of the box and show him how to fit it.

"will this fit my bike?"
yes
"How do you know?"
They fit any bike
"and mine?"
yes
"Can I bring it back if it doesn't fit?"
yes

so he buys it...all happy for a week or two, then he comes back in.

"Hi...I bought this computer off you..I'm not sure if it's set up right. I think it's showing a slower speed than I'm going.."

I check the setup (it's based on wheel size) It's fine, I say

"Can't you adjust it? I think it's wrong. I seem to be going a lot faster than it says..."

There is about 10 minutes of conversation between us, which I shall miss out, mainly because I wasn't really paying attention myself and can't really remember what was said.

Then he dropped the biggun...

"Can't you come and ride alongside me and then I can compare the speeds?" I was speechless. I just had to walk away.

Last bloke not really a customer, but you have to admire the guy for determination. We'd just locked up,shop closes and half 5, this was about quarter to 6. Shutters down, lights off, computers off etc. Guy steps under the front shutter and starts banging on the front door, just as we are about to leave. We stay out the back, waiting for this guy to bugger off. But he doesn't. For TWENTY minutes. In the end, we decide to leave anyway. Unlock the front door, "Sorry mate, we're closed"

"That's ok, I just wanted to know what time you opened in the morning"

"Um....9. Like it says on that sign, there" (pointing to the closed sign on the door)


Fucks sake.
(Wed 10th Sep 2008, 2:38, More)

» Ouch!

Hit a stationary car
Doing 25mph on my pushbike - long story but it was all her fault. Broke my big toe, nearly snapped my shin (it's still dented) as I somersaulted over the roof and landed on my neck/back. A lucky escape all in. The fat bitch in the car then sant down next to me and cried
(Thu 29th Jul 2010, 19:11, More)

» Clients Are Stupid

another one..
a bloke brings a tyre up to the till, i scan it.."£24.99 please sir"

25 bloody quid! he shouts. 'it says £4 on your sign!'

I reassure him that no-one in the shop would be stupid enough to label a Nokian Gazzaloddi for £4, but he insists so i get him to show me the POS (label)

'there' he points. To a label 2 racks down. Which isnt even a tyre POS, its a 'we'll fit it: from £4' sign.

ugh.
(Fri 2nd Jan 2004, 15:14, More)