b3ta.com user Farmer Geddon
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» Too much information

A London Underground track maintenance worker
once advised me not to pick up a human head by the hair "because it just pulls out. Especially the older ones."
I didn't want to clarify whether this meant heads of older people, or heads from older accidents.
(Fri 7th Sep 2007, 12:21, More)

» I Drank Meths (pointless teenage things you did to shock)

Not my story, but a WARNING TO ALL YOUNGSTERS.
Friend of mine's daughter - intelligent, pretty, not enough friends - felt hard done by when her parents bought her a flat of her own. Yes, outright bought and gave her a flat in South London. Seems she thought they just wanted her out of the way.
So to teach them a lesson and make them sorry for what they had done she threw herself down the stairs.
Probably hoped to break an arm, but broke her neck and is now tetrapalegic.
On the plus side she is now back home with her parents as she needs 24/7 attention. So I suppose she always will be at home.
Which also mucks their life up too, so that showed them!
(Sun 22nd Jul 2007, 12:14, More)

» Buses

There was a busdriver who was shagging his busductress.
Not unusual, but they liked to park under the flyover in Croydon toward the end of the late shift, lock the doors and go at it on the top deck. Which meant they were always running late by the end of the night. Makes me wonder whnever my night bus is late.
Now the road inspectors ( the ones who make you get off one bus and on the one 'right behind' - yeah, right) had to put an end to this.
Didn't really want to as they used to park on the flyover and look down into the bus to score the evening performance. Probably should have sold tickets (instead of photos) but anyway their solution was to wait until the driver went into the short strokes then drop a dustbin onto the bus roof. Worked a treat.
(Fri 26th Jun 2009, 10:18, More)

» Cheap Tat

Has anyone else done the opposite to QOTW?
-and bought in charity shops things which they knew to be in excellent nick and vastly undersold.
Like the "Ingoldsby Legends", leather bound, for .49p from Oxfam, or a metronome £1.25 from Sue Ryder. Both these worth a minimum of £50 each.
Strange how when you do that at a boot fair it feels great, but taking advantage of Cancer Research brings on the need for confession.
(Tue 8th Jan 2008, 13:18, More)

» Tramps

400 years later, and what advance?

“Poor naked wretches, wheresoe’er you are,
That bide the pelting of this pitiless storm,
How shall your houseless heads and unfed sides,
Your loop’d and window’d raggedness, defend you
From seasons such as these? O, I have ta’en
Too little care of this! Take physic pomp;
Expose thyself to feel what wretches feel ...”
(Fri 3rd Jul 2009, 12:08, More)
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