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» IT Support

Anyone for coffee?
Its probably in here already and once a common occurance.

I needed to setup some software remotely for someone but I needed her to install pcAnywhere first. It was her first experience of a cd and I asked her to put it in the cd-drawer. After several seconds she came back to me and said she could find it. I talked her through finding the cd eject button. Down the phone I heard the drawer slide open followed by the comment "Oh, you mean the cup holder!".
(Wed 30th Sep 2009, 10:39, More)

» Have you ever seen a dead body?

4 bodies
Body 1. Jumper 1 (technically not a dead body yet)

I was 16, early summer, Friday afternoon roughly 5pm. Me and a mate of mine were walking away from Worthing town centre past the multi-storey car park. Still not quite sure what we saw/heard but we both looked to our left. To me it looked like someone had been decked and then bounced back up a little, but there was no-one else there. My brain caught up with events and I realised I'd seen a jumper. I turned round to Stu, he turned white, screamed and legged it. I shouted after him, "get the police" (station literally round the corner).

Now the reason I mentioned it was 5ish on a Friday was that its a pretty busy time. I looked around me, there was me and the jumper, no people no cars. I slowly started to walk over to be jumper - shitting myself "what do I do", I was getting closer, "Oh fuck what do I do". I saw a women leg it across the road to the jumper, "thank fuck".

I went over and had a look, the jumper's leather belt had snapped, his eyes were white, his arms were white. People started to come out of shops, the multi-storey building. His arms were now one huge purple bruises. At this point the rozers turned up and then the ambulance. I think the jumper was technically alive when I saw him last but I heard he'd died in the ambulance.

I was alright, abit shakey, had a spliff, went to the pub - told everyone. My mate turned up briefly about an hour later, he'd just bolted, ended up at home. Never really saw much of him after that, he ended up on anti-depressents and believing in god!

Body 2. Victoria

Walking through Victoria station on a Sunday in 1991, completely mashed from the night before, wide-eyed from the E. I saw a group of people and paramedic crew. They were trying to resuscitate a young guy. They stopped. The guy's mate was leaning against a pillar in tears. I was gutted for him, I caught my train feeling like shit.

Body 3. Jumper 2

Croydon c2003. Walked round corner to see a fairly old geezer dead at the bottom of the Whit Gift multi-storey car park. I hated Croydon, I hated everybody in it, one less person in Croydon. Grabbed a sandwich and went back to work (I use this word lightly - I commuted from Brighton to East Croydon, surfed the net, went home).

Body 4. Floating Body

Last year me, my girlfriend and another couple were walking alongside The Thames near Cliveden. My mate works there and we'd got off the beaten path a bit.

A fallen tree was sticking out and quite a bit of debrie had collected against it including a blue jacket. puffed out like it had a lots of air in it. I said "'ere, looks like a dead body", my mate, the A-Man says "nah, its been there for weeks". We leave.

During the next week A-Man sees some kids in a rowing boat down at the same spot (they are living "Stand By Me"). Thinking they're upto no good he challenges them. "We've come to see the dead body". A-Man gets them to poke the jacket with an oar. The head surfaces and then stench hits them.

Technically, I saw a jacket, so next time I say "It looks like a dead body", I'll get the nose peg out and take a better look.
(Mon 3rd Mar 2008, 16:48, More)