» Why should you be fired from your job?

Shenanigans
I used to work full time at a big Asda.

It was shit, the customers were shitter and the management were the shittest of all.

So to pass the time on our department (the one that sold the great big TVs at low prices that packed in after a year but we gace away free 3 year guarantees with everything so the majority of our time was spent lugging broken sets through the warehouse) we'd indluge in shenanigans.

Not of a sexual nature, but stealing the highest value goods we could. (Although I do know of a few bummings that happened in the disabled loos).

My mum still uses the mobile that I robbed and the majority of my PS2 collection was shenaniganed.

Still, the cunts deserve to lose a few quid, I blame Victoria Wood.
(Fri 10th Aug 2007, 12:38, More)

» Racist grandparents

Wait a cotton pickin' minute
My grandma was a keen sewer, kintter, and everything of that ilk. OFten we'd receive 'beautiful' items of knitwear for Christmas, items that itched like someone had poured louse eggs all over them.

Anyway, my grandad, the good man that he was, always ensured his wife had the supplies she needed to keep us all in itchy woolen clothes.

One sunny summer holiday afternoon, while I was abandoned at my grandparents' house, I was sent to Woolworths to buy some "nigger brown thread". Even at that age my jaw hit the floor.

He was a good man, he didn't even realise he was being racist, it was just a colour of thread to him. I never did manage to get him try pasta though.
(Fri 28th Oct 2011, 16:35, More)