b3ta.com user moonbadger
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for moonbadger:
Profile Info:

Recent front page messages:

Beer good

Unless its weedy sceptic beer, in which case, the autospong takes over

edit:- Woo, FP!

BTW, sceptic tank = yank
(Sun 25th May 2003, 13:11, More)

Found in a pond nearby
Damn that global warming.

(Sun 25th May 2003, 12:58, More)

Oddkit happy

(Sat 10th May 2003, 16:47, More)

Pointless post
Eight legged sheep having a bounce.

They have to exercise on trampolines as jogging costs too much in trainers.
(Sun 20th Oct 2002, 8:06, More)

This likkle mouse fears nothing!
Probably Stellad to the eyeballs.

(Wed 31st Jul 2002, 22:14, More)

It lives under your bed
It beams doubt and self loathing into your psyche.

(Sat 20th Jul 2002, 10:24, More)

Probably my only entry into this weeks compo

(Fri 19th Jul 2002, 22:01, More)

What could be more fun than poking kittens with sticks?

(Wed 10th Jul 2002, 20:21, More)

Imposters are quickly rooted out

(Sun 7th Jul 2002, 9:34, More)

In memory of..

(Wed 29th May 2002, 21:09, More)

Best answers to questions:

» LOL Bigots

I am NOT coloured!
Came the annoyed response from the black lad in our class at school. We didn't give a feck that he was black, he was a mate, that was that. Skin colour hadn't even entered our minds. We were 15/16 at the time and a tree-hugging-yoghurt -knitter supply teacher was taking us for our ( compulsory ) R.E lesson.
Our usual teacher was a top bloke and had introduced us to the faiths of others in a; on reflection, superbly balanced way. Not this wombat. 'People of colour', 'ethnic peoples', 'aboriginal people'. Patronise patronise. Paul had enough. He had a little outburst which still makes me chuckle. I have to paraphrase here.
The first and only time I ever heard Paul swear. He was livid. Up until that point, there had been no differences, we just never thought much about it. Kids don't.
She stormed from the room and was replaced by the Deputy Headmaster; a fine, balanced man. He asked what happened and we explained. His response was a smile, a little chuckle, a 'good man' comment to Paul and we spent the next half hour discussing his favourite sport, rugby.
We aren't born racist pigs, we don't really notice. To this day, I find the PC insidiousness abhorrent, and that was the start for me.
(Mon 25th Feb 2013, 12:58, More)

» Crazy People off the Internet

Dear Demon Internet,
Yeah, this isn't a Demon Internet bashing post. More a sort of, well, kind of, an apology.
There are still nutters who think an IP address is as good as a street address, and Google kinda helps here.
All niche web sites and chat rooms get nutters, even seemingly intelligent, literate long term members can flip if the correct keywords or sequences of phrases are used. I imagine some of them as believing themselves to be the Internet equivalent of a cold war sleeper.
I got death threats for using 'centripetal force' not....

Wikipedia wasn't around, but it was no matter to respond and cite to support my initial answer to the question. I don't feel the need to outline the actual transcript, but I was polite, courteous and provided links to and attributed c&p in responses. Maybe that was the trigger?. How to drive a nutter over the edge by being polite. Death by being English through and through :-)

He, genius he was, posted Demon's address and proudly proclaimed, in capitals, that he was going to come round and do various things to me which made me think he was a qualified butcher. Possibly scary. That I was online meant I was in.
Come round for a cup of tea, invited I. I wonder if he went round and scared the shyte out of anyone there.

Never posted again. We so wanted him to, but he never did. OK, nothing unusual there. Nutter goes off on one, realises he's been a dick and drops that username or just never posts again.

My signature file at the time included my name, company name, telephone number and street address. 200 or so miles north of wherever in London(ish) that exchange was located. Every bloody reply I gave had that info. Every single one, I could be traced so easily by just putting my name into something like 192.com but no, he demonstrated his leet skills with a few lookups and a whois query.
Had he rung the number, he would have got to speak to me directly, or by looking the company up, my boss.

Bless 'em one and all.
(Wed 28th Nov 2012, 19:56, More)

» School Naughtiness

I didn't do much at school...
...Aside from competitive dope smoking, valium/mogadon/ativan popping, getting rather drunk, blowing the sub-station transformer up, rigging teachers only toilet door locks so they didn't throw the bolt. Much fun kicking the door to be had when a teacher was releasing a trouser trout to the wild.
Running beads of superglue along the front edge of desks, for those teachers who like to lean on the edge of the desk whilst patronising someone.
Setting a pair of stinkbombs up under the headteachers lectern so when he leaned on it, they went off during assembly.
Setting off the fire alarms.
Stealing sodium and cooking oil. Flush the urinal, fill the u-bend with cooking oil, then drop as much sodium in as you can. Bang-eth ensues when there is enough piss or after a couple of flushes.. It actually blows the u-bend clean off :-)
Rigging fluorescent light fittings by shorting out the tube pins with silver foil. Bit dull that one.
Rigging the shit trap cisterns so when you flushed, instead of the cistern refilling, it pissed water everywhere. As the cistern wasn't filling, the ballcock valve wasn't shutting the water off.
Charging capacitors up and leaving them lying around. That fucking hurts when you forget which is which :-)
Recreational arson, which sadly didn't catch as well as I'd hoped.
Removing all but two hinge screws from doors.
Those hydraulic damped door closers?. Full opening damping makes them a bastard to open. Zero closing damping makes them slam shut with remarkable force. Reverse that and the door opens easily enough against the spring pressure, then stays there. All day. Fully open....
Playing 'So What!' by the Anti-Nowhere League through the schools new PA.
Blowing the fuck out of a set of speakers. I'd recorded the ( then ) new AC/DC album 'Back In Black' onto a metal tape and it was at saturation level. That opening bell chime kicked in, the cones extended, and stayed there.
Total refusal to accept any form of corporal punishment, including yelling 'Are you a fucking paedo or what!' at the head of games, and 'Touch me you fat cunt, and I'll fucking slot you where you stand' to a particularly odious little twat of a housemaster. In front of about 300 other kids. I'd only farted, albeit in a loud and fruity manner, when he has making an important announcement. It was my actual slotting him that finally got me expelled. Well, that and most of the above.
I hate bullies, so if I saw a kid being bullied, I'd deck the bully. Six of them tried to 'get' me. OK, I ended up reeking of cheap perfume ( what the fuck kind of attack is hurling a beaker of cheap perfume anyway ), but I threw one down a flight of stairs, rendering him unconscious and broke the nose of the ringleader before the others did a runner.
Setting off smoke bombs under the stage of the main hall.
Lighting about 36 incense sticks under same stage.
Spending a rather pleasant afternoon mashed off my face under the same stage, up to the makers nameplate in a very pleasant young lady, who was also rather mashed. If we hadn't just smoked a couple of rather large joints and drunk a small bottle of vodka together, I suspect my advances would have been met with a 'fuck off' instead of 'fuck me until I can't walk'. For years afterwards, whenever we met in the street, we both got a fit of the giggles. We'd known each other since primary school. That was the first and last time we got squishy together.
So, which was the naughtiest?
(Sat 10th Sep 2011, 18:11, More)

» Crap Gadgets

Zip drives. + Iomega tape streamers.
At the time, the Zip drive seemed awesome. 100MB per cartridge, good data transfer speed ( SCSI ) and bootable with the right card.
Oh shit, click of death. A steely glance and order was restored. I decided, following good reviews in magazines, to buy an Iomega Ditto tape streamer. It worked perfectly under DOS, but was just proprietary enough that when I switched to Linux, it was useless.
Steely glance. Switch to CD-R.
I stored the Zip drive for future use. Recently I installed the Zip and CLICKGRINDBUZZZZZ. I was going to use it in my Archimedes as its drive is all of 40MB and making some odd noises.
Proprietary storage?, may it suck donkeys.
(Thu 29th Sep 2011, 20:33, More)

» Crap Gadgets

'Inferno' lighter.
Yet another impromptu sucker purchase at a petrol station. Twin searing hot jets of flame. Guaranteed to light in any weather, except heavy rain when the piezo igniter shorted out. Or strong wind.
Do not use for warming a block of resin.
Do not use for lighting roll-ups. The gap between the flames was perfect. Brazing torch levels of heat up each nostril. The built in compass had a needle that someone forgot to magnetise. Matters not as it fell out after a day anyway.
(Thu 29th Sep 2011, 20:22, More)
[read all their answers]