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» Worst Band Ever

Black Lace, in particular, "Superman"
...a third of a song stretched out to fill the space required for a whole song. It’s a value pizza, or a value packet of crisps. It appears to do the job, and is cheaper, but ultimately unfulfilling. It is also ironically well received by 1980s faux-enthusiasts who like to think that it’s so bad it’s good, and you know how I feel about that phrase. Either show genuine love for the 1980s, or don’t bother it at all, let the 80s sleep unless you really want to get it on with them.

‘Superman’ is also not endorsed by DC Comics, this essentially makes it fan fiction, and bad fan fiction at that. In ‘Superman’, Superman appears to be on holiday, there are no villains, and nothing of note happens.

Or does it?

You see, I have a theory which goes something like this; one or two red herrings aside, ‘Superman’ is a work of fan fiction in which Superman dreams about going dogging.

Let’s look at the evidence.

In ‘Superman’, Superman does the following things: claps his hands, sleeps, waves his hands, hitches a ride, sneezes, goes for a walk, swims, skis, sprays some deodorant, poses in a macho man fashion, sounds his car horn, rings a bell, says OK, kisses, combs his hair, waves his hands, then shouts, “Superman!”

The red herrings are clearly the swimming and skiing, so taking those out, the story goes something like this: Superman claps his hands looking forward to a nap and goes to sleep. In the dream he waves his hands to hitch a ride with a beautiful stranger, he sneezes, which is a secret Superman sign that says, “Want to go dogging?”

They park up and go for a walk to scout out the area, he freshens up, and poses for her, they sound the horn to invite other doggers, he rings her bell a la Anita Ward, combs his hair in the wing mirror, waves at the other doggers, and shouts, “Superman!”
(Fri 31st Dec 2010, 13:22, More)

» Dad Jokes

My dad always asked:
'What would you rather be or a wasp?'

And yes, I do it myself today...
(Wed 10th Dec 2003, 21:11, More)