b3ta.com user conuil
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conuil is:

Emmet Ryan, computer programmer (aren't we all) living in Dublin.

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» Guilty Secrets

Damn SQL Server
I was working as Tech Support at a large bank in Ireland. One day a user was having a problem with thier loan application. The fix was to delete a particular record. So I typed in the SQL.

delete from tbl_workflow where status = 'MT'
and Id = 2023

Or something like that. I then by mistake highlighted only the top line and executed it. The message came back

5543 records deleted.

I nearly died right there. This is SQL server so there's no rollback no undo. The 5000 records were gone and that was it. It was the kind of environment where you'd be hung for even the slightest error and this was a monumental f*ckup. So after much brain racking I decided not to say anything. Stonewall it to the last.

For weeks afterwards users kept ringing in with problems (because I'd deleted their records) I'd hear the calls, hear the other IT people discussing it trying to figure out what was wrong. All the while sweating away praying they wouldn't twig what happened.

They never did. Phew.

In my defence I had actually highlighted this as a possible weakness in the whole system but I had been ignored.
(Fri 31st Aug 2007, 17:26, More)

» Hidden Treasure

Penknife and Flag
Found a small penknife in a disused site once. My parents wouldn't buy one for me so I was dead happy with my find.
Also found this black and white flag in a quarry. We were going to adopt as our gang flag. And i put it up on a pole on top of our shed. When my dad saw it he nearly had a fit. Unbeknowns to us it was an IRA flag, oops.
(Thu 30th Jun 2005, 14:07, More)

» Failed

Failing Irish
Here in Ireland we have to learn Irish in school. As the language is only spoken by a handful of people I didn't think it was the most important thing on the curriculum. We had 7 subjects but only the best 6 were taken for getting into college. So I decided Irish was going to be my 7th subject.

I deliberately flunked it to get put into the pass class. That way I could take it easy as all I needed was a pass on the pass paper.

Anyway my when my parents found out they decided that I needed help with my Irish. I was sent to an Irish college for 6 weeks in the summer and had extra lessons every Saturday morning.

So that backfired spectacularly.
(Wed 10th Jan 2007, 17:47, More)

» Dad Jokes

Every bleeding lunchtime too
He'd buy a Jamacia cake, he'd put it down on the table and then he'd sit there looking expectantly. Then one of us would (wearily) enquire. "Jamacia Cake?". Quick as a flash would come the quip "No I bought it!". Hil-flipping-larious it was.

He could also balance stools on his nose which was far more entertaining.
(Wed 10th Dec 2003, 11:03, More)

» Political Correctness Gone Mad

Non-PC Teacher
My old primary school teacher used to utter the following catchphrase around once a day.

"Ze jews, ze jews vill play hopscotch on ze minefield."

We were too young, he was too burly and corporal punishment was still allowed so no one thought to challenge him on that.
(Tue 27th Nov 2007, 15:56, More)
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