b3ta.com user Grobie
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» Vomit Pt2

New Years Eve just gone
After a hearty meal and lots of rum round a friends flat, a few of us retired to the balcony area for a new year celebratory cigar. Usually I quite enjoy a cigar but two puffs had me holding onto the ledge for a bout of stomach emptying. Then another. It was then, looking down, we realised that both hurls - which both took a number of retches - were completely different colours and had landed next to each other.

One friend has since remarked that it looked like a grim Mastercard logo.
(Thu 7th Jan 2010, 19:30, More)

» Impromptu Games You Play

I was at college around the time that the Verve released Bitter Sweet Symphony, and my fellow classmates and I had discussed the video which involved Richard Ashcroft swaggering down the road following a fixed line, knocking into passers by as he went. We found this amusing to say the least and decided to invent the game of Verve-ing.

You would get your swagger-on (hands in pockets, elbows out, swinging your shoulders as you walk) and walk down the high street along an imaginary fixed line, knocking into whomever was foolish enough to stand or walk in your way. Screwing your face up into a snarl often helped if you didn't want people to get too close. There was no winner or loser, just general amusement.

Sometimes Verve-ing would be done en masse, with all members of the group swaggering shoulder to shoulder. Whoever broke the line and allowed members of the public to breach our swathe of swaggerers would be mocked "aahh, you fuckin' idiot!" in an Aussie accent for the rest of the day.

(Mon 29th Mar 2004, 18:59, More)

» Beautiful but Bonkers

All I can say is...
...One night stands should only ever be with people outside your social circle. I need to change my identity, job, haircut. Can't afford rhinoplasty.

Also, fucking work colleagues = the most bad idea. Ever.
(Sun 19th Nov 2006, 17:26, More)

» Unexpected Nudity

A friend
had the recent habit of getting naked frequently round the house. While his parents and brother are about doing their normal business. It wasn't unheard of for his family to find a cock placed on their hand, shoulder or head while they sat and read the paper or used the computer.

It seems to have stopped now he has a girlfriend.
(Thu 28th May 2009, 18:10, More)

» Family codes and rituals

Same every week, without fail and 10 minutes after I get in from work, unless I find a way to intervene:

Sunday - Roast beef
Monday - Rubbish beef pie
Tuesday - Sausage, beans and mash
Wednesday - Steak
Thursday - Ginsters Pasty (other pasties are available and I recommend them all above Ginsters)
Friday and Saturday - I stay down the pub and try not to eat red meat....
(Thu 20th Nov 2008, 19:17, More)
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