b3ta.com user no_funny_name
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» Shit Stories

this is one of those friend-of-a-friend things but:

This lad was dating this girl & after a night out brought her back to his house (his folks being away). So they started getting busy on the sofa and as the heat rose, he suggested they might like to try the 'other hole'. Moments later, he was earning his brown wings when he popped out. On removal of his todger from said orrifice, her bowels decided to evacuate, widely and in quantity.

He ended up escorting her home and then spent the rest of the night trying to clean the family 3 piece suite, carpet etc - but to little overall success.

In the morning, his parents returned home to find their living room soiled. Our lad explained that it was the (aging) family dog who had made the mess overnight.

Anyways, the next day the lad returns from a trip out to see his folks standing in porch, when they then explain to him that the family dog had had to be put down (now that he can't control himself etc).

Straight to hell for that one...
(Thu 6th May 2004, 13:41, More)

» Claims to Fame

my gsce french teacher
is that lady that wrote 'Chocolat' and some other books
(Mon 28th Feb 2005, 0:10, More)

» Shit Stories

and another...
i've got this mate who has a filthy mind which occaisonally breaks through into reality.

One night on his walk home drunk, he's dying to drop the kids off at the pool. He's getting more and more desperate until he's only about 150 yards from his house and he can't wait any longer. Now there's this fancy designer menswear shop nearby, and as it's in the wee hours (no-one's about) he squats on their step and marks his territory (dunno if it was a class-war decision or just hi-jinks).

He then proceeds to wipe his arse on his pants, which he then posts through the shop's letterbox to be found when they openmed the following Monday.

I mean, I ask you...?

Mind you, his brother once climbed on a pub roof to shit on it...
(Thu 6th May 2004, 13:54, More)