» Jobsworths

Have recently discovered that...
...the internet filter for the Department of Work and Pensions refuses to let you view b3ta, as they have classfied the site as "useless".

That's rich coming from the place that runs the fucking Child Support Agency.
(Sun 15th May 2005, 10:56, More)

» Crap meals out

Crap. Diluted.
I stayed in Greece for a few days about 5 years back. It rained heavily the whole time. Went for a meal in a small local restaurant one evening, which was situated downhill from the main town. Ordered some wine, ordered some food, all very pleasant.

Well, it was until the torrential rain caused some kind of sewage overflow in the town, and a mix of rainwater and effluent came pouring down the hill. Half the restaurant staff were desperately trying to sweep the shitty water away from the door before it invaded the restaurant. The smell was, of course, phenomenal. Funnily enough, we left before the food came, despite the manager's promises of free wine if we stayed.

Actually, this story probably doesn't count as there technically wasn't a meal involved. Ho hum.
(Sat 29th Apr 2006, 16:45, More)

» My Worst Vomit

Simple, yet elegant
Stupid office meal thing. The plan was to meet at the restaurant about 7:30, but a few of us lived too far away for that to be sensible. So we went to the pub beforehand.
This turned out to be an error, as the only other non-locals turned out to be the horrifyingly personality-free boss and her tedious supervisory underling.

For two hours I listened to their mind-numbing honeymoon anecdotes, whilst they bought me Newcastle Brown.

Inevitable outcome: We all met at the restaurant, we ordered our food, I threw up on the table before the food arrived. Classy.
But the best bit was...

The restaurant was full, so no other tables were available. The staff cleaned up and everyone had to eat at the same table. Yes, really.
I'd gone by that time but I was reliably informed that several people had lost their appetites.

Apologies to any staff of Steers in Norwich who may have been on duty 8 years or so back...
(Wed 25th Aug 2004, 18:23, More)

» Stupid Tourists

Gee
Stratford Upon Avon, about 12 years ago. An aging American couple were wandering past us in a park. The woman pointed at some flowers and said, "Gee, Dwight - look at all those fragrances."

For about 5 minutes our whole group thought we'd walked onto the set of Monty Python's Meaning of Life. Sadly nobody thought to check if the woman was Michael Palin in disguise.


(Wed 13th Jul 2005, 13:01, More)

» Crappy Prizes

Fizz
When I was very young I won a cherry flavoured Panda Pop in a raffle. I have yet to best that moment.


(Thu 4th Aug 2005, 14:30, More)