» Clients Are Stupid

More helpdesk nonsense
While working for a local government agency I had the pleasure of dealing with several ridiculous IT helpdesk calls, but only one was funny enough for me to remember it now...

Phone rings, I pick up:

Caller: Hello!!? It's on fire!!
Me: Pardon? What?
Caller: It's on fire! It-it-it-it's burning our eyes!!!
Me: Please calm down Sir, what's on fire?
Caller: The screen! It's on fire and it's burning our eyes! What should we do?!
Me: Have you turned it off at the mains? Have you called the Fire Brigade?
Caller: Not yet, thought we should call you first to check what we should do.
Me: Well, it would be best to turn it off and call the Fire Brigade. Then get a new monitor.
(Mon 29th Dec 2003, 10:53, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

Birmingham Uni, a few years ago
In a lecture room in the ugly concrete building, neatly scratched in the desk and filled in with blue ink:
"I find I can do bigger poos at home."
As it happens, I agree.

Also, in the gents in an Irish bar in Venice, angrily scrawled in black felt-tip:
"Rock is Dead!"
However, added just below in the same handwriting, only smaller and much less angry:
"Or is coming to Death."
I like to think of the artist agonising for days about his original statement, and coming back to correct it after careful thought...
(Mon 7th May 2007, 11:44, More)