b3ta.com user crumpled
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» My computer gave away my secrets

Lesbian Clit Biters
Being a freelance web designer, I use the internet at several convenient locations to do my work. One of those places is my mothers house, while she herself is at work elsewhere.

My mother came home one day and settled in to watch television, and noticed a glow coming from her office room, where on her screen was a couple pages of a website called Lesbain Clit Biters. She proceeded to browse around these pages to form her opinion of the content.

She then called my voicemail to relate her story and say that she thought the girls were really skinny, and couldn't get why I would be looking at something where they were so obviously "faking it".

My wife was the first to hear the voice-mail message.
(Mon 13th Feb 2006, 5:16, More)

» Sacked

From a petrol station.
they just asked me to return my shirts and never gave a reason. I was releived, but four years or so later it still gnaws at me. I've never been fired before then and I've never been fired since.

Every other person there was a fucktard. maybe I didn't fit in, because I can read. We work alone, so why would I have to fit in? I just don't get it.
(Sat 25th Feb 2006, 4:27, More)

» Lies I told on my CV

you guys are crazy
I hope you don't admit anything about a job you still have. These qotw answers linger.

also: A CV and a résumé (spelling corrected) are technically a bit different from eachother in the strict sense of each term. :P
(Mon 10th Jul 2006, 3:43, More)

» Mugged

it hasn't happened... yet
but when it does, if i learned anything from this QOTW, it's that muggers don't know what to do when you put them off their preconception. and if you beat the shit out of them, you'll win.
(beware of the large gangs though that leave you for dead)
(Fri 16th Jun 2006, 8:15, More)