» Pet Names

I have three cats....
named Kleon, Monty and Shed.

Shed was a stray kitten who took up residence in the neighbours shed. He lived out there for three weeks, until we finally took him in when we were certain he didn't have another home. We hadn't named him properly as we didn't want to get attached to him so by the time he actually moved in he answered to Shed-Cat, Shed for short.

This said, my husband now tells everyone it's short for Shit-head. As he's a demanding, over-friendly, bouncy annoyance 90% of the time, it's curiously appropriate.

Kleon is named after a 4th century BC greek politicitian. Husband studied classics - 'nuff said.

Monty we got already named. Lucky for Monty really, considering the other two.

Mary Magdalen
(Wed 25th Feb 2004, 19:46, More)

» People with Stupid Names

I used to work for an insurance company..........
...and we had a client called Mr Glasscock. I kid you not.

One of the best ones though was a call to my mother (also working there). The lady on the other end of the phone asking about the policy she had taken out for her daughter sy-oh-barn (phonetically).

My dad worked with an Ivan Overall, and a guy Brian Allen, who due to spelling mistakes on his personnel files, which were stored by surname, was known as the Alien Brain.

My maiden name was a classic though, it wasnt till I pointed out to my parents in my teens they noticed I was (to my class at school) Mary "had a little" Lambert......
(Sun 29th Aug 2004, 18:25, More)

» Shit Stories

I used to work for a large insurance firm.....
who were relocating to another part of the country and consequently making lots of people redundant. This not being a popular act among the staff had spawned a variety of acts of defiance over the previous week or two mostly centred around the ladies toilets on the 3rd floor, flooding them, covering them (literally) with ketchup, it all appeared to have died down though.

Cue friday afternoon, I walk into the first (smaller) cubicle of a two cubicle loo. Sit down and commence relieving myself. As I sit down I hear a friend walk in, enter the cubicle, and then (loudly) "OH SHIT!".

"What?! Are you alright?"

"No" she says, "I mean literally, and I'm wearing sandals"

I almost vomited. Transpires someone had left a large steaming heap directly in front of the door. Being as the cubicle was 5ft long was NO chance of an accident.

She had to wash her feet and have her shoes (and the toilet cubicle and sink she washed in) disinfected by the cleaner.

Funnily enough they came down pretty hard on the acts of protest after that.

Mary Magdalen
(Thu 6th May 2004, 12:44, More)

» Best Comebacks

I always liked....
.....The only reason there's no incest in your family is cause your mum can run faster than your grandad.....

or

....if you had half a brain you'd be dangerous...

or

.....ahh, timeshare brain cell eh?......

or

.....don't worry love, my mum used to dress me too.....


(have used these too)

Mary
(Thu 29th Apr 2004, 23:57, More)