b3ta.com user Shifty Bloke
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b3ta n00b.

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» Best Comebacks

Not me but my Mate..
He was once having an argument with a girl who was in our room at the time (school trip to berlin)

she said:"yeh nice comeback..."
He said:"if I wanted my cum back I'd whipe it off your face"

That shut her up :D

Ahh kermandy how I miss ye.
(Thu 29th Apr 2004, 15:52, More)

» Dumb things you've done

Biggest phone bill ever...
So one night upon returning from the pub I thought I'd catch some late night telly in hope of some softcore p0rn - hey I was drunk and horny what can I say?

Anyway nothing was on but I did catch a lovely lady doing a phone in quiz show.

So I thought why not I'll give 'em a bell, I got through on the 3rd attempt and won £50. Woot.

Cue the next two hours constantly trying to get through. I won £350 in total and the girl was drawing hearts on screen for me, yay.

Sadly though the £350 just about paid for the VAT on my phone bill. Seeing as my phone only clocks 29 calls I didnt think it was that big, but it was :-(

My sim got barred until I paid the £1,080 that I owed - luckily I paid it off the same day and nothing is against my name, but the guy at T-Mobile said it was the biggest bill he's ever seen.

And I guess the other bad thing was is that it was my Christmas Bonus of a £1000 that went down the shitter.

I felt sick for a week after that.

no apologies for length.
(Fri 21st Dec 2007, 9:50, More)

» Evil Pranks

Not really that evil I guess..
..But back in the day my friend and I would take regular trips to Southend on the train with his Mum and her strange friend.

On the way back one trip, we reached our stop and upon exiting the train onto the platform I quickly pressed the door close button.

My friend panicked thinking he was going onto the next stattion without us - crying and banging on the door.

His Mum just pressed Open and we walked home in silence.

Sorry mate.
(Mon 17th Dec 2007, 10:48, More)

» Pubs

Shenanigans.. more like ShenanigDOWNS
Met up in Manchester last November with some top lads

We were actually in a club at the time when one of the boys whips out their camera with a rather stunned/highly amused look

In his Aussie accent he yells fucking hell look at that..

Turning around we see this bloke fingering a girl, not out of the norm you say for a Manchester club? Well upon closer inspection we swear they had down syndrome! (Don't laugh its cruel!) Either that or they were inbreds.
(Tue 10th Feb 2009, 12:06, More)

» School Trips

A friend of mine
I didn't know him well then, but quite often we chat about funny times and this comes up.

He'd recently joined our highschool in year 8 (we left school is 2003) and each side of the year (each year was split into forms i.e B1 and B2, 1's were all together and so were the 2's) were going on a day trip to France.

Unfortunately he made them miss the return ferry home because he was playing in the arcades. After being told they were leaving soon he proceded to change up his foreign money and continue to play for an hour. I don't think they got home until 3am. Class.

Good times, good times.
(Thu 7th Dec 2006, 11:11, More)
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