b3ta.com user urgle-splurgle
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for urgle-splurgle:
Profile Info:


Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Putting the Fun in Funeral

I only ever cried at one funeral, when I lost my baby daughter. Nothing amusing to say.
(Thu 11th May 2006, 10:40, More)

» Overheard secrets

Years ago, when I was in the scouts, we went camping one weekend. We were pretty much left on our own when we camped so we did as young boys did, and played all day long. One game involved all of us running into the bushes and hiding from one another, a sort of hide and seek, if you will. Whilst we were playing this game some of my friends overheard an older boy and girl (one of the guides who camped there) in conversation, basically he said to her, "cor I'd love to feel your tits". Apparently he didn't get a slap which to my hormonally deranged teen mind meant she was up for it, and the phrase alone gave me enough wanking material for a couple of weeks.
(Fri 26th Aug 2011, 11:17, More)

» Missing body parts

missing bits
I was circumcised last year at the age of 40 years. Note to anyone still "knobbus intacta" and thinking of being de-balaclava'd: it really fucking hurts and is best done when you are an infant. My poor old chap look like a scene from some b-movie gore-fest. Worse still was copping a stiffy whist the stiches were still in. VERY FUCKING PAINFUL.

also no wanking for 6 weeks.
(Mon 5th Jun 2006, 14:47, More)

» My Biggest Disappointment

Adult life. I would define it as the moment you leave the comfort of the parental home and set out for the adventure that the rest of your life is sure to become. In reality, you get a mortgage, get stuck in a dreary job, grow old and wonder why you haven't done any of the things you wanted to do with your life. On the plus side I am now able to afford all the toys that I couldn't have as a kid, and wanking is so much easier with internet porn than with the jazz-mags of old:-)
(Thu 26th Jun 2008, 14:51, More)

» Useless advice

My mother-in-law
When we moved house, my mother-in-law told me the best way to help our cats to find their way home in unfamiliar surroundings, is to put butter on their paws. Eh??? Apparently they can smell the buttery scent of the trail they have left behind. I say utter bollocks.
(Thu 19th Oct 2006, 11:56, More)
[read all their answers]