» Foot in Mouth Syndrome

I knew a guy once who suffered an accident.
he lost the bottom part of his leg and some of his fingers, burnt face, etc. he had an electric wheelchair bought for him and he scooted round to my house and the first thing my dad said was

"blimey that must have cost an arm and a leg"
(Tue 20th Apr 2004, 22:43, More)

» Worst Record Ever

another one
- Achy Breaky Heart - (I don't care if people think it was fun, I wanted to kick the blokes forehead into kingdom come. that song is the worst. it's like your uncle has got pissed at a fucking wedding and got up to sing a song that doesnt exist.
(Wed 3rd Dec 2003, 1:51, More)

» Irrational Fears

I have a couple of irrational fears
I cant lick my fingers withought using the back of my shoulder to wipe them, it makes me cry .

I have to drink everything in one gulp. This has gone on to me drinking 1.5 litres whilst on a day out.

now this, this is my WORST fear. I am afraid of sausage rolls. Not just any sausage rolls. The long ones. the little ones are fine, they are too insignificant to pose a threat, but the big ones. I am scared that they have little hard black bits in and when i bite them i will die.
Slightly irrational i know.
(Wed 28th Jan 2004, 23:36, More)

» Worst Record Ever

and bob the builder
Me mam (no shit) crashed her car listening to this. she was ok. the car. well, bob couldnt fix that. twas f*cked
(Wed 3rd Dec 2003, 1:52, More)

» Dad Jokes

I was the first person to have a mobile phone in the family.
And i locked the keypad inside my bag. My dad took it out inside a pub while i went to the toilet, and proceeded to press select and every key on the keypad. I got back and the first thing he did was smile and say "I figured out your password. One figure, that was easy" and i stood and laughed at him. Every fucking time i see him he says it.
(Wed 10th Dec 2003, 20:58, More)