b3ta.com user The Reverend Lord Lizard
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I think i'm really funny...i've even got a website to prove it! (http://thedailything.blogspot.com)...although all i've really achieved so far is adding to the already mountainous pile of evidence for the case that i'm actually not...not even a little bit...it's got an online store though! woo!

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Best answers to questions:

» Out of my depth

I went to a very religious school...
...which is unsurprising when you take into consideration that it was run by nuns (erk!), anyway part of our normal school day was the repetition of a prayer at the start of every lesson (and, as testament to just *how* well this mindless religious indoctrination worked, I can't remember what prayer it was...nor can I remember what religion the school was...I know it was one of the ones that begins with a 'C'!) and this happened every day for the many years I went to school there.

Now, what with me being a rebellious young upstart and all, this prayer at the start of every lesson provided a perfect moment for arsing about, changing the words to *hilarious* dirty versions, trying to make other people laugh etc...which was great...it wasn't great when I got caught, however, and made to stand at the front of the class and say this prayer by myself! "Ha!...that's easy!" I thought initially...until I realised that, without the safe drone of everyone repeating the same thing, I had absolutely no idea how any of this prayer went...so I stood there, for what felt like an eternity, reciting the first 4 words and then looking very puzzled over and over again...*sigh*...compared to that I reckon crucifixion was a doddle ;)
(Fri 15th Oct 2004, 10:35, More)

» Lost...

Lost? What? Eh?
Mainly my memory...with alarming regularity I seem to find myself losing track of conversations halfway through and drifting off into confusion and...er...um...Mainly my memory...with alarming regularity I seem to find myself losing track of conversations halfway through and drifting off into confusion and...er...um...Mainly my memory...with alarming regularity I seem to find myself losing track of conversations halfway through and drifting off into confusion and...er...um...Mainly my memory...with alarming regularity I seem to find myself losing track of conversations halfway through and drifting off into confusion and...er...um...

(repeat until funny)
(Fri 3rd Dec 2004, 16:50, More)

» Old People Talk Bollocks

Trivial Pursuit...
One christmas (after we'd gorged ourselves suitably of course) the whole family were sat round the table having a jolly game of trivial pursuit...the game was going on swimmingly (it was Christmas after all...the grown ups were all pissed and us kids were filled up to the eyeballs with sugary sweets...made things interesting I can tell you) until we came to the question "what sea-bird has the biggest wing span?" and my great great gran piped up with "oh that's easy...a hippopotamus"

Oh how we laughed.
(Fri 12th Mar 2004, 9:42, More)

» Irrational Fears

Cotton Wool...
...I'm finding it difficult to even write about this (really...my skin is crawling and i'm finding it hard to stop shaking) but my irrational fear is...the awful white stuff mentioned above (sorry, can't bring myself to type it again)...I would explain my reasons but I can't 'cos i'm starting to freak out.

On a slightly less odd note I can't go near any more water than a puddle for fear of sharks and I have an absolute soul freezing terror whenever I think about death.

I am normal though yes?
(Tue 27th Jan 2004, 16:02, More)

» Evidence that you're getting old

The fact that...
...I find myself starting many a vitriolic sentence with the immortal words "the youth of today" before launching into a heated rant about how they're seemingly embracing illiteracy, have no work ethic, don't know how easy they've got it etc.

I suppose It's only a matter of time before I add to this with "when I were a lad" or perhaps "back in my day"...not that I mind of course, I rather enjoy my role as narky old sod ;)
(Tue 2nd Nov 2004, 13:57, More)
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