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- a member for 21 years, 0 months and 12 days
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» Claims to Fame
I wanna live forever... I wanna learn how to fly
I once bet my Dad to knock on Patrick Moore's house in Selsey, Nr Brighton. Being a loon, he walked straight in. Two minutes later, the starry legend called me into his living room. We had a cup of tea, spoke about some robot on Mars, watched some of the 1997 Ashses and he gave us a tour of his telescopes. But didn't play the Xylophone.
He's really tall in real life. A giant, in fact.
My Dad was also once beaten up by Ray Davies of popular 60's beat combo The Kinks. The cunt.
Paul Furlong, the rubbish 90's Chelsea footballer, lived just round the corner from us in Wood Green before he was famous.
My Brother claims to have gone to school with Deanna Troy from Star Trek, but that may be a lie.
My mate was in a band who had a video on MTV2, but he got arsey, so they threw him out.
I stared at Charlotte Church's tits in Cardiff's Sainsbury's whilst she brought Menthol Superkings. They are bigger than you think, but she looks dirty. The type of girl who sleeps in her make-up.
DJ Spoony asked me where he could get his shoes fixed just before last years FA Cup Final. I pointed in what turned out to be the completly wrong direction. Sorry.
Christ on a Segway, that's quite a lot of boring tales.
-FIN-
(Sun 27th Feb 2005, 21:25, More)
I wanna live forever... I wanna learn how to fly
I once bet my Dad to knock on Patrick Moore's house in Selsey, Nr Brighton. Being a loon, he walked straight in. Two minutes later, the starry legend called me into his living room. We had a cup of tea, spoke about some robot on Mars, watched some of the 1997 Ashses and he gave us a tour of his telescopes. But didn't play the Xylophone.
He's really tall in real life. A giant, in fact.
My Dad was also once beaten up by Ray Davies of popular 60's beat combo The Kinks. The cunt.
Paul Furlong, the rubbish 90's Chelsea footballer, lived just round the corner from us in Wood Green before he was famous.
My Brother claims to have gone to school with Deanna Troy from Star Trek, but that may be a lie.
My mate was in a band who had a video on MTV2, but he got arsey, so they threw him out.
I stared at Charlotte Church's tits in Cardiff's Sainsbury's whilst she brought Menthol Superkings. They are bigger than you think, but she looks dirty. The type of girl who sleeps in her make-up.
DJ Spoony asked me where he could get his shoes fixed just before last years FA Cup Final. I pointed in what turned out to be the completly wrong direction. Sorry.
Christ on a Segway, that's quite a lot of boring tales.
-FIN-
(Sun 27th Feb 2005, 21:25, More)
» When animals attack...
When animals take a liking to your sibling...
Whilst feeding a pair Shetland ponies, one took a liking to my little brother and decided to mount him.
Once the nag realised there was no where to insert it's pecker, it decided it was hungry instead and began to eat his hair.
Within days of this assualt, the same brother decided it'd be prudent to kick a wasps nest. Poor mite ended up with a face like a bag of spanners.
Throughout these traumatic events, myself and his other older brother didn't lift a finger to help, but did manage to find time to sadistically laugh our knackers off
(Fri 3rd Jun 2005, 12:52, More)
When animals take a liking to your sibling...
Whilst feeding a pair Shetland ponies, one took a liking to my little brother and decided to mount him.
Once the nag realised there was no where to insert it's pecker, it decided it was hungry instead and began to eat his hair.
Within days of this assualt, the same brother decided it'd be prudent to kick a wasps nest. Poor mite ended up with a face like a bag of spanners.
Throughout these traumatic events, myself and his other older brother didn't lift a finger to help, but did manage to find time to sadistically laugh our knackers off
(Fri 3rd Jun 2005, 12:52, More)
» Foot in Mouth Syndrome
twatberries
i was hanging around outside my mates house waiting for him to have a dump when 2 kids and a mother came along. the kids had spears made of tree branches and were stabbing anything in range. kid A says "mum, im hungry" doofus A (me) says "you could go catch your dinner with the spears. a nice juicy rabbit" mother A says "we're vegetarians, thank you very much" and stomped off with kids A and B in tow.
cue me shouting after them "well, you could stab some berries" in a pathetic attempt to not be a twat
(Fri 23rd Apr 2004, 10:17, More)
twatberries
i was hanging around outside my mates house waiting for him to have a dump when 2 kids and a mother came along. the kids had spears made of tree branches and were stabbing anything in range. kid A says "mum, im hungry" doofus A (me) says "you could go catch your dinner with the spears. a nice juicy rabbit" mother A says "we're vegetarians, thank you very much" and stomped off with kids A and B in tow.
cue me shouting after them "well, you could stab some berries" in a pathetic attempt to not be a twat
(Fri 23rd Apr 2004, 10:17, More)