b3ta.com user ianfidel
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for ianfidel:
Profile Info:


Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Child Labour

Trench Warfare!
Many years ago (age 10 or so) my friend and I were watching some old war films on a glorious summers day in the holidays, might've been All Quiet on the Western Front or somesuch. We took from this the idea that fighting in trenches was a Fun Thing To Do (we may have missed the point of that particular film).

So we were talking about how we could perhaps make our own trenches to fight in if we could find some shovels and somewhere to dig. My friend's father overheard us and announced that he thought that the trench warfare sounded like a Fun Thing To Do also, and, very kindly, offered us the use of his shovels.

'Where to dig though?' we asked, to which the father replied that he would let us dig in the far end of his garden, as he didn't use that part of the garden for anything.

Needless to say we were ecstatic, and happily dug out trenches at matey's father's direction. Our masterpiece of the sapper's art was completed after a few days, and we were all combat fatigued up and ready to fight. Matey's father pointed out that it was getting dark, and so playing there might be dangerous, suggesting to start the following day.

On our arrival the next day we were greeted by the sight of matey's father cheerfully filling the newly tarpaulin'd 'trench' with water from his hosepipe. "Cheers boys, why don't you go and play football down the park?"

If we had paid more attention to the war films we may have questioned him as to why he wanted the trench dug in a more circular shape, as looking back, his justification that "that's how they dug them during the first world war when they wanted extra protection" wasn't really watertight.

We went down the park to play football.
(Sun 19th Feb 2006, 16:07, More)

» I just don't get it

I don't get why
you can click "I like this" for a b3ta qotw answer, but there isn't the option of "this is fcuking shite".
I would like to click that.
(Sun 3rd Apr 2005, 1:22, More)

» Pure Ignorance

this one had long lasting repercussions
all from one mate, admittedly several years ago:

biology teacher: "whats the name of the white fluid found in rotten teeth?"
mate: "semen" (the mind boggles)


myself and several others: random pisstaking of mate

matey boy: *Enraged* "Are you guys gay or is it just me?!"

the mileage on that one has been priceless
(Sat 8th Jan 2005, 0:47, More)

» I just don't get it

apologies (or no..)
for length.


(Sat 2nd Apr 2005, 22:06, More)

» Claims to Fame

My grandad
was given a medal, and was in the papers and on tv for a while:
scroll down to 3rd december
(Thu 24th Feb 2005, 18:43, More)
[read all their answers]