b3ta.com user Elronds_Twins
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» Dad Jokes

He always loved this one.
While driving, he'd point to the passenger floor board and ask what that spot was (of course, there were spots all over the damn floorboard). When I would look down to see what it was, he'd stomp on his brake and I'd be thrown in the floor. I fall for it everytime.

Also, out of the blue sometimes he'll say "All fags take a bow," and hit his brakes. The result is that everyone in the car bends over from the momentum.
(Thu 11th Dec 2003, 17:19, More)

» Dad Jokes

My dad's a joker (like all dads)
Whenever either my sister or I say "huh?" his response is always "that's what a pig says when you kick it in the butt."
(Thu 11th Dec 2003, 17:15, More)

» Your Weirdest Teacher

Ferme la bouche!
My first two years of French, we had a woman, Ms. Crutchfield. The woman would talk to the crickets behind the bookcases (and give them French names). She doted on about her two cats, Kirky and Spocky. She would cut her own hair (it was very obvious), and once when she felt like her contact lense wasn't working, she put another one on top of it.

In the second semester of my sophomore year, she returned from a little 'vacation' (*cough* nervous breakdown). We were being our typical rowdy selves. For some reason, we all got dead quiet at the same time and looked up at her. Her eye twitched, she started gathering her books and muttering. In the middle of muttering, she looked up at us and shouted for us to leave. We dashed and took 3 lunch periods before alerting the administrators. She had to be escorted back into the building to claim her belongings. I have stories and stories on that nut.
(Mon 14th Nov 2005, 10:35, More)

» Dad Jokes

ok, just one more....
around Christmas, if someone curses, he'll yell "That's not a Christmas word, dammit!"
(Thu 11th Dec 2003, 18:42, More)

» Worst Nicknames Ever

No real reason for either...
I went to school with a boy named Dale. We all called him Dale-do. I never did get around to asking him what size batteries he needed, though he probably wouldn't've appreciated it.

Also went to school with Mary Coomer. Called her Hairy Cooter. One band director used the name once, unknowing of it's meaning.
(Thu 18th May 2006, 20:00, More)
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