b3ta.com user emma_fisi
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» Have you ever been dumped in a spectacular way?

Top bloke
Not spectacular, but my (ex) bf decided to dump me at Xmas. So, he bought me a present, and wrote on the tag "thought you might need this, as you're dumped".

The present? An 8" vibrator.

One of the better ways to be dumped, for sure!
(Thu 17th Jun 2004, 17:39, More)

» Losing Your Virginity

...and within about an hour of being dropped off at University ;-)
(Thu 3rd Mar 2005, 11:21, More)

» Stupid Tourists

Not quite a tourist message, but amused me none the less
Went to Manchester Uni, and the girl in the next room to me was from Croydon. She spent the first two weeks convinced that she was in Scotland, as "you surely can't drive this far north and still be in England".

Bless, it's not just Americans who don't get British geography, our own Southeners can get it very wrong too.

PS The girl in question was studying (yup, you guessed it) Geography.
(Tue 12th Jul 2005, 13:25, More)

» My Worst Date

Dog Boy
Just moved to London, decided to go for a drink with a guy I'd met. Told him there was no chance of him getting laid - I was just out for a few beers and a laugh that night, and we'd take it from there.

Should have known it wouldn't work out when he ordered cranberry juice for himself (what guy does that in a pub?!). Fast forward....oooh about 5 minutes - he's humping my leg, panting down my ear and licking my face (not sexy)so I made my excuses and ran to the bus. He followed, so I lied and said I lived out in Zone 6, then ignored him as he climbed aboard my bus..... thank god he got bored and got off 2 stops before my stop (I live in Zone 2), otherwise i'm pretty sure he'd have stalked me home......

The moral? Cranberry juice-drinking, leg-humping, panting face-lickers are best avoided....
(Fri 22nd Oct 2004, 10:24, More)

» Stupid Tourists

We have lots of German people where I work - most of them are top people, and contrary to popular opinion, they can be taught the finer points of the British sense of humour.

We had one very "special" German chap with us for a year though. Round about Remembrance Day, he asked why we all wear poppies. I explained to him that it's to commemorate those who died in the first and second world wars, and I asked if they had anything similar in Germany.

His answer? "No, Germany has not been in any wars" Erm, hello?? What do they teach them over there??!!
(Mon 11th Jul 2005, 12:27, More)
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