b3ta.com user Mong-the-Merciful
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» It's not me, it's the drugs talking

On pills
Back at my flat after a large dnb session at the End, all chilling and not having a clue what was said 3 seconds ago. One mate is eating a banana, about 5 seconds later he turns to another a mate, tries to speak but can't. 'What's this in my mouth?!' he asks, confused. 'You're eating a banana' another mate replies.
(Thu 15th Dec 2005, 12:23, More)

» Stuff You've Overheard

Not overheard but I was in Edinburgh a while ago and had just crossed a road, using the traffic lights, the sort that bleep so you know when to cross. Anyway, there's a couple of dumb fuc* yanks on the other side. The woman says to me "Excuse me, but why do thiose traffic lights bleep"
Me "So the blind can use them"
DFY "That's amazing, in my country the blind can't drive."
(Thu 10th Jun 2004, 14:24, More)

» It's not me, it's the drugs talking

No me but...
.. my girlfriend went to Amsterdam a while back. She went to a supermarket and got followed round by the cheese fridge.
(Thu 15th Dec 2005, 12:16, More)

» Stupid Tourists

Love them Yanks!

In Edinburgh at a pedestrian crossing, one of those push the button and wait for the light to change type ones. As the man goes green, so he emits a bleep.

American cow-person "Why do they make that noise"
Me "It's for blind people"
AC-P "Amazing. In our country blind people can't drive"
(Fri 8th Jul 2005, 10:35, More)

» Shame

... Used to be a glam rock star in teh 70's, everyone wanted to be in my gang. But then I was found with kiddie porn on my computer, moved to Vietnam where I'm going to be hung for shagging 12 year old. However, when I was arrested I was wearing burberry pants. Oh the shame!
(Tue 29th Nov 2005, 11:24, More)
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