b3ta.com user smithsonian
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for smithsonian:
Profile Info:


Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Stuff You've Overheard

I was standing in a queue waiting my turn and there is a little boy and his dad in front.

The kid is leaping about singing something, firing his imaginary gun whilst asking a million questions. His dad says 'Charles will you settle down and stop arsing about' to which Charles replys 'Daddy, I am a 6 year old child, it is my job to arse around.'
(Fri 11th Jun 2004, 13:26, More)

» Breakin' The Law

my only brush with the law consisted of
'don't ride your bike on the pavement young lady'

At 11, that was pretty scary!
(Thu 8th Jan 2004, 12:44, More)

» Dad Jokes

First post!
My dad's fave is to introduce mum as his 'first wife'. He has been been married once, to my mum, for the last 28 years.
(Fri 12th Dec 2003, 11:13, More)

» Mini Cabs From Hell

Hellish journey
We heard there was a party one night so 3 of us get into a minicab and off we go.

We know the name of the road and the number of the house, we just don't know where in the city it was. So the chap is driving around a bit then he stops to read a map, spends a good 5 mins looking at it, then he turns a corner and we are there at the party. He then tries to get us to pay some stupid amount, we tell him to fuck off, we are not paying for his reading time. We offer him some money and then open the door to get out. One mate gets out and he starts driving off so the open door batters her and leaves us screaming at him to stop. We ask him, what he thinks he is going to do with us?? He drives right down the road, screaming at us to close the door, we don't we leave it swinging open until he was pulled over by the nice kind policemen who let us go, with our money, ha ha fuck you Mr Cabbie!
(Thu 27th May 2004, 12:13, More)

» Impromptu Games You Play

Good game
Using small balled up pieces of paper or blue tac, lying on the floor below and uplighter lamp shade throwing as many in as you can. Happy for hours.
(Wed 31st Mar 2004, 15:01, More)
[read all their answers]