b3ta.com user Rotten_Cointreau
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for Rotten_Cointreau:
Profile Info:

I am no longer an undergraduate student. I am now doing my PhD in exciting cancer type things, and will soon be winning my Nobel prize. More importantly, I intend to work out how to make a truly witty picture, and get never-ending FPs. Oh yes.

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Pet Peeves

Toilet Roll
My fiancee is guilty of this, and it causes pre-marital disharmony on a regular basis.
Toilet rool should be put on the holder in the "over" position, not the "under" position.

It drives me mental in a hugely disproportionate way. The words "bat-shit crazy" come to mind.



Even looking at the "under" picture is making me angry.

Look how poorly optimised those images are. All pixelly and rubbish. Yay.
(Fri 2nd May 2008, 11:42, More)

» Pointless Experiments

The burning fiver
Our chemistry teacher once demonstrated the fantastical experiment whereby you soak a fiver in ethanol, and set it on fire. The ethanol burns below the combustion temperature of the cotton paper of the money, and the fiver remains intact.

We learnt two more things in that lesson.

1. Rob's polyester trousers are not the same as a five pound note.

2. When someone stands up with flaming trousers, their shirt catches fire.

Obviously, the error analysis on this experiment is extremely complex, but I am confident that a Nature paper will come out of it.
(Mon 28th Jul 2008, 14:06, More)

» Get Rich Quick

I have a cunning scheme.
Follow Scaryduck around wherever he goes, especially when he goes into pub toilets.

Then, just after he leaves, check the urinals for money. Don your favourite type of disposable gloves and fish out said cash. Repeat ad infinitum.

You are now rich.

(Wed 6th Aug 2008, 14:05, More)

» Conned

I was tricked!
I once read a story on a popular website, by a mystery man, known only as Cheers. Or maybe his name was Legless? Who knows.

Anyway, the story had everything. A beginning, middle AND end. I laughed, I cried, I retched, and was satisfied with the hilarity of the story, and the Godlike status of the man who wrote it. I couldn't decide whether I wanted to be him, or simply to bask in his gentle goodness.

Imagine my shock when I retold this story in the pub, when one of my friends told me he'd heard it before, and that it was an urban myth! He then proceded to go to his flat (which was just above the pub) and get a book called "The Best Urban Myths... Ever!", and pointed out how much of a gullible fool I was.


Some of this is true...
(Thu 18th Oct 2007, 14:09, More)

» Conspiracy theory nutters

Not quite a tin-foil hat...
I was in the pub a while ago with a group of other biologists, when I met a plumber called Smiffy. He decided that we were the perfect group to tell about the international science conspiracy that kept evolution as the status quo, and that something altogether more sinister was going on.

His evidence?

"If evolution is true, why doesn't the favourite always win horse races?"

All six of us sat with our mouths hanging open at the idiocy of this statement, just long enough for him to say, "there, that's foxed you, hasn't it?" and walk off in triumph.


I saw him a couple more times after this, and when I broached the subject again, he claimed that my "so-called science training" meant that I didn't have an open mind. I tried explaining that his plumbing ability in no way meant he understood evolution, but apparently that's exactly what a member of the scientific liberal elite WOULD say.
(Thu 27th Aug 2009, 17:14, More)
[read all their answers]