b3ta.com user mysticmurray
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Badly Drawn Buoy

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» Breakin' The Law

Done for punnery!
About a month ago I was out on the lash in Shrewsbury with my mates. At last orders at the pub we were in, we decided to go off to the local "nightspot" where the licence carries on til 2. It was a short walk across the town centre. We were a little pissed, so we were fecking about, you know jumping over postboxes and running around like dickheads, that sort of thing. Anyway, we were all trying to prove how hard we were by doing "daring" things. Now Shrewsbry is quite a violent place, full of dicks who's idea of a good night out is getting pissed then battering someone, so the police presence on a typical saturday night is pretty prominent. So there we were, arsing around, when I notice two of the boys in blue standing up ahead against a wall. I told my mates to keep quiet and "watch this". Me, thinking I was cool, walked towards the coppers, fumbling in my wallet. Just as I passed them, I "dropped" a 2 pence piece on the flaw. I turned to my mate and proclaimed "I fucking hate coppers".

My mates were highly amused..but the rozzers were not. I got warned....wonkers.
(Wed 7th Jan 2004, 23:20, More)

» Irrational Fears

Am I just wierd?
I literally cannot eat toast whilst wearing a jumper. I just can't face up to it. Not sure why. Maybe it'll stick to me if I drop it.
(Tue 27th Jan 2004, 22:54, More)

» I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Why did the motorway sit in the middle of the restaurant?
Because it had a central reservation
(Sat 21st Sep 2019, 20:06, More)