b3ta.com user Barry Dangerous
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» Breakin' The Law

Blues & Twos
Hi! Long time listener, first time caller!

Here in Australia, the police cars have an external switch to activate the red & blue lights, usually subtly sticking out of the radiator. This is to allow the rozzers to turn on the lights while they are standing outside the car during random breath testing or speed traps. Not sure how I found out, but I discovered that this switch activates the lights, even if the car is locked up, with no keys in the ignition.

After telling a mate about it, now whenever he walks past an empty police car, he has to switch the lights on, even if the car is parked outside a police station.

Needless to say it has resulted in us legging it up the road many times before the coppers come after us.
(Wed 7th Jan 2004, 23:19, More)

» Heckles

Drag Queen
A drag queen (6'2" plus high heels) was running a trivia night at the local pub (long story...). Gets heckled by a drunken backpacker on the way back from the bar with some really imaginative line such as "you faggot". S/he puts him right in his place with:

"I am more of a woman than you'll ever get, and more of a man than you'll ever be!".
(Wed 12th Apr 2006, 0:18, More)

» Pure Ignorance

When I first moved to the "big smoke"...
I thought the Halal Family must have been very rich, as they owned a lot of butchers.

(Tue 11th Jan 2005, 21:54, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

Intent but not Executed
Many moons ago, there was a local business called "Crosby's Tiles".

On their sign out the front, I always wanted to add "Nash & Young".

Another local street sign:
"Take Next Exit for Appin"

With a few quick strokes would read:

"Take Next Exit for HAppiness"

Always too scared to go through with it.....
(Sat 5th May 2007, 8:02, More)

» Have you ever paid for sex?

Cheap Bastards
Was in Pattaya Thailand for work (really truly). Naturally myself & about 10 colleagues decided to try a night on the town.

First bar we went into had about 2 dozen girls sitting on benches behind a big glass window. After a few beers while window shopping (Number 33 with the lot, thanks), we decided to find out "how much".

At this time, it became obvious that of the 11 people at the table, I was the only one single. Someone came up with the idea to split the cost 10 ways (cheap as chips), let me go & have the shag, then come back & tell everyone about it. That way we could all get some satisfaction (some more than others) without "crossing the line".

Needless to say, I was very disappointed when half the guys turned out to be cheap bastards & wouldn't cough up

I got my revenge by paying another girl for sex later that night...

Pop goes my (B3TA) cherry
(Sat 21st Jan 2006, 5:19, More)
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