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» Look! It's me in the Local Paper

Royal Stamp
When I was a very young child, Prince Charles came to visit my nursery. His missus' regiment was based in the same town, so he often came down to sunny Canterbury for a visit.

I was making a truly spectacular Skittle Brick sculpture until it was cruelly destroyed by the foot of the King to be. I was so upset, I was 3, that I stamped on his foot and cried.

All caught under the watchful TV lens of TVS (now Meridian). Make things worse, my Mum gave me a slap when she saw the news for being rude to a stranger.

It was a bloody good sculpture... and I'd do it again to his foot if I saw him.
(Thu 10th Feb 2005, 15:41, More)

» Breakin' The Law

Female Anatomy Hilarity... Almost.
In the dark streets of Canterbury I was guilty of a rather heinous act.

It is a very quiet place so anything to liven up your evenings is well worth any minor trouble with the local constabulary and if it includes childish vandalism... all the better.

Me and a mate noticed that a popular high street chemist was just asking for some fun. We made a little half circle of white perspex, then grabbed a ladder and some white gaffer tape under the cover of darkness to the High Street.

We prepare ourselves, I'm holding a ladder as my mate climbs the steps. Just as he's got to the top and securing our piece of art, we are bathed in white light and hear the sound of a door closing.

A fine member of the local constabulary says "Hello, lads. What are you up to at this time of night." Just at the exact moment my mate is admiring his handiwork of changing 'Boots' into the hilarious 'Boobs'.

I was so scared, I didn't let go of the ladder for 5 minutes. Thankfully, the police officer saw the funny side but he did make us take down our little amendment to the retail experience of East Kent. I was very young, that's my excuse anyway and I'm sticking to it.
(Thu 8th Jan 2004, 12:17, More)

» Irrational Fears

Peas on Earth
I have an irrational fear of peas, of all things.

I once was forced to eat peas by my sadistic grandmother. I hated the taste so much I can't be in the same room as them. If people eat them in front of me I have to leave the room with a nauseus feeling in my stomach - because I can't shake the taste of them and their texture out of my head.

The clunking then scraping noise of people trying to catch them on the fork just puts me over the edge.

I need help.
(Wed 28th Jan 2004, 14:54, More)