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» Fire!

Butter Smoke
One evening, me and a mate were sitting at home, when we suddenly experienced a communal longing for some popcorn. Running to the kitchen, we soon found a bag of that microwave popcorn which cooks itself in a bag, and popped it in the microwave, returning to the lounge content that before long we would be feasting upon hot buttery popcorn.

One thing that we forgot, however, was the length of time needed before optimum popcorn-ness could be achieved. After about 7 or 8 minutes, we realised our mistake, and ran back to the kitchen to find the microwave, while still intact, completely opaque and filled with a strange yellow smoke. I was still in a state of shock as to the disappearence of our popcorn, but luckily my mate had the common sense to turn off the microwave.

I then thought I would be constructive, by having the 'common sense' to open the microwave. Yellow, buttery smoke poured out, making it impossible for us to breathe, so we did what any person would have done in the situation, and ran, closing the door behind us.

The next day, we woke up to the smell of butter and burning things, so we went downstairs to check on the popcorny mess from the night before. Luckily, there was a window open in the kitchen so the smoke had mostly gone, although an extremely pungent smell remained. Strangely, smoke seemed to still be drifting out from the microwave, and upon inspection, it became clear that under the extreme heat of the microwave, the popcorn had seeped more oil than I knew it could possibly contain, which itself had caught fire, and was still burning with a worrying blue flame.

3 weeks later, the whole house still smells of butter (which in itself isn't a bad thing, in my opinion, but the parents seem to disagee..), and I still don't have the courage to go near the microwave, just in case I accidentally start another oil fire in it..
(Thu 3rd Nov 2005, 12:23, More)

» It was a great holiday, but...

Day trip to Calais.
It was shit. It must've been in year 7... the french department thought it would be a good idea to organise a short trip across the channel to Calais. This involved waking up at 4am, and turning up at school half asleep only to find that the coach was delayed, and didn't arrive till 9:30. I had to sit next to the ill-looking kid who managed to eat a bag of quavers and promptly throw them up again all over me before we even got onto the motorway. We managed to make good time and got to Calais in the early afternoon, but no more than 100 metres past the port gates, the coach broke down. It was raining. A replacement coach was called from the UK, and meanwhile, I got to sit for 5 hours watching the puke dry on my school trousers, and try to breathe through my mouth so as not to inhale the acidic and vaugely cheesy smell given off by my clothes. In the end, when the replacement coach arrived we turned straight back around and went home. Utterly fucking pointless if you ask me.
(Thu 21st Apr 2005, 16:47, More)

» Useless Information

Alan Titschmarsh writes erotic novels.

And to think I respected him...
(Fri 18th Mar 2005, 15:40, More)

» I just don't get it

I dont uderstand why guys (myself included) are strangely obsessed with fire and burning things... I mean its not as if we're all pyromaniacs or anything.

But then again, who can resist making a flamethrower with just a can of deoderent and a lighter? Or soaking your sister's barbie in lighter fluid and throwing a match onto it. Or trying to set someone's hair on fire without them noticing...

Ahhh bliss....
(Tue 5th Apr 2005, 10:47, More)

» Claims to Fame

Alan Titchmarsh
Yeah a mate of mine knows Alan Titchmarsh... more than that, he's a family friend. He was at her 15th birthday party and I got to shake his hand.. i was in shock for the next two weeks.

Also, apparently he writes erotic novels...
(Thu 24th Feb 2005, 17:19, More)
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