b3ta.com user meak
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for meak:
Profile Info:











Recent front page messages:

...someone mentioned floating?

(no shopping was done on this. it's pure magic. but ta much for the FP!)
more magic
even more magic
(Tue 4th May 2004, 23:36, More)

the new 'look like a zombie' diet was going well...

bigger @1.81Mb
(Fri 13th Feb 2004, 14:15, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Have you ever been rude to a celebrity?

I lost my virginity in Camilla's house....
when i was younger i went to one of those posh brat balls, where loads of 15 year old posh totty gather to drink vodka and snog each others brains out.
after a fairly succesful evening, i managed to lose the friends i had arrived with, and in a drunken state started to chat to a group of young lads who had cigarettes (very cool for 15 year olds at the time) hoping i could scab one to look 'cool'. They invited me to an after-party at their house.
so a quick taxi ride later, we turned up at this mansion in kensington. very dapper and really very impressive. to cut a long story short, i got friendly with one of the young girls, and we decided to head up to one of the many bedrooms of the not-so humble mansion. so...stumbling about in the dark, we found a room with a huge four poster bed and prodeeded to do the naughty thing (in a very drunken and awkward fashion). Not bad for a first encounter!

even more awkward was the scene the next morning when no other than camilla parker-bowles walks in to the room and proceeds to berate me and my partner for 'spoiling the sheets' and defiling her fathers death bed.
i left, apologising profusely, hoping to dear God that she hadn't noticed the used condom in the side drawer.
(Wed 14th Apr 2004, 22:13, More)

» I'm an expert

I've been interested and enthused by starting atheism up as an alternative to religion, and after some bitter struggles with the university I set up the first uni funded 'Atheism Soc'. I've been in formal debates with priests, rabis, and even been to the Vatican to give a seminar on free speech and how atheists should have the right to debate their views without judgement. I've won essay prizes (total worth about £2000), been published in magazines, and been dubbed 'Most likely to worship Satan' by the leading Christian group 'Alpha' in the UK (watch out for Alpha people... they'll ask you if you've 'found jesus' within about 5 minutes of meeting you). I've also had a rather profitable T-shirt business with Urban Outfitters... you may have seen them, they say stuff like 'Jesus Can't Skate' and 'Where's Jesus When You Masturbate?'.
I think total earning is probably around £25,000. Yup, I think I'm the expert.
(Mon 27th Jun 2005, 2:20, More)

» How I Skive Off Work

Online poker saved my life. Since I started playing, I've won almost 2,500 pounds. My boss sits next to me watching me play, which is a wonderful way to pass the time. What's even better is that he often pays for me to play, as long as I give him a percentage of the winnings.
I have managed to 'skive' a whole week, simply by playing with my boss's money!
(Thu 28th Apr 2005, 17:55, More)

» Near Death Experiences

Shot at for stealing a chicken.
I was in Thailand. (this was pre-"The Beach", so gaudy tourists weren't a problem).
After a particularly fun night on mushrooms I was walking back to my small bungalow on the beach when I noticed that the owner kept his chickens in a coop just behind my room. High as a kite I reached into the coop to set my feathered friend free into the night. As I pulled the squawking bird from it's cage the owner came running out of nowhere holding what looked like a sawn-off shutgun. "Hey, Wha' you doin'? Pu' chicke' ba' or I shoot you!" I let go of the chicken and put my hands up, shit scared that this was it, I was going to die a chicken thief!
As the chicken hit the ground and ran off into the night the obviously perturbed Thai man took a pot shot at my feet! I have never jumped so fucking high in my life!!!!
I quickly ran off, grabbed my bag from my room and never looked back! All i can remember is him shouting "Hey, you teef! I gonna kill you, you stea' my chicke'".
I have not returned to Thailand since.
(Mon 29th Nov 2004, 13:11, More)

» People with Stupid Names

Misty Hymen
Swam in the Olympics (I think for America)

Has anyone mentioned Ria Lydiatt? (say it quickly)

And finally, my mother's maiden name
Van Cauwenbergh de Romesvald de Van de Graat
(she is Belgian)

Edit: and my landlord is called Mr Nicholas Nicholas. Seriously!
(Fri 27th Aug 2004, 18:11, More)
[read all their answers]