b3ta.com user Xybex
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Some stuff that I did.

Recent front page messages:

What everyone wants.
Had a bugger of a job getting this below 150K.

Edit/My first FP! Thankyou.
(Fri 16th Apr 2004, 20:59, More)

Best answers to questions:

» The passive-aggressive guilt trip

Drive me to the shop will you?
Me: I'm watching a film, and I have already put the car away.
Fine! I'll go on my own and get raped.

Didn't know they did that at the local Day and Nite.
(Mon 17th Oct 2005, 22:14, More)

» I'm an expert

I am
an expert in opening doors using my elbows and arse because my hands are full. The sooner we get our prehensile tails back, the better.
(Fri 24th Jun 2005, 18:19, More)

» Hidden Treasure

When I
was a grubby student, the house (or shithole as it was) we moved into had a cupboard in the living room. On opening the cupboard I found a couple of torn up pages from a porn mag and a Joe Pasquale video.
I'm glad I never met the previous tennants.
(Thu 30th Jun 2005, 22:15, More)

» My Worst Vomit

I never
go to McDonalds usually, but I was out with a few mates and I was pretty much press ganged into going. I ordered the big mac and chips and forced them down. On the way home, it was still rolling in my gut, so I decided to get rid. I didn't want it in the first place after all. I then proceeded to bring up something resembling a monstrous two foot long turd in shape and consistancy. I was straining so hard to bring it up that I burst blood vessels in my eyes and cheeks. Not funny.

Also when I was at university, I decided that for the house Christmas party I would try those super strength tramp beers. I blanked out after the fourth. What was disturbing was not that I woke up covered in shaving foam, pot noodle and coffee and with my head in the bin, but the sheer volume of vomit. There was a not inconsiderable puddle in the middle of the carpet, A couple of inches in the bin, but the piece de resistance was the sink. It was literally full to the brim with puke. I had to stir it around to persuade it to drain.
(Fri 20th Aug 2004, 0:17, More)

» World's Most Hated Food

makes me retch in a very literal sense. I just hate the taste of milk that is not slightly off, but completely, climbing the wall rotten. Which is what cheese is.
And it also comes from a cow's tits.
Mind you I do eat things from hen's vaginas.
(Mon 12th Jul 2004, 19:19, More)
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